Who is a Side Chick?
A side chick is a woman who acts as the ‘main’ girl in your life without actually being in that position. She’s usually someone you keep on the back burner but still allows her access to your time and money. Despite being part of your periphery, she’s not considered an actual girlfriend or mistress. The term has become popular in the black community; however, it’s not exclusive to any race.
Can a Man Fall in Love With His Side Chick?
Men can fall in love with their side chicks. If they’ve developed a genuine emotional connection with one of these women, then there’s no telling how far the feelings could go. Sometimes, people mistake lust and infatuation for true love because it’s easier than admitting that you’re falling for someone who isn’t your significant other.
Why Do Men Have Side Chicks?
Unsatisfying relationship with the main chick
If a man feels like he is not getting what he needs in his relationship, then it’s very likely that he will attempt to seek satisfaction elsewhere. Often, men in marriages or committed relationships with women they feel don’t treat them right or give them enough attention may decide to date other women on the side. To some men, having another woman gives him bragging rights and makes him feel wanted by multiple females.
To be with someone different/experience new things
Some guys prefer dating or being with more than one woman at a time because of their need for variety. Some people like to keep things spicy, and one-on-one monogamy can become tiresome.
Some men who are habitual cheaters will most likely continue to cheat on his significant other with different women, even if they’re in a monogamous relationship. He may feel that he is not doing anything wrong or disrespecting anyone by seeing someone else behind their back. Cheating becomes second nature for some men, and it can be difficult to stop the cycle of cheating.
Fear of commitment
Being in a committed, monogamous relationship can be scary for some people. The uncertainty of whether the main chick will leave if they find someone else to fill her place can become anxiety-inducing. Additionally, men who aren’t emotionally mature enough to have only one woman in their life are more likely to have multiple female suitors at once.
To hurt or punish his significant other
Some men also date women on the side as a form of punishment for their main girl. They may get angry with her for something she has done and retaliate by seeing someone behind her back. Having another woman makes them feel powerful because it shows him that he’s not entirely dependent on his girlfriend or wife anymore.
Like women, some men can form intimate emotional connections with their side chicks. They can genuinely care about these additional women without actually being in a relationship with them. Whether they want commitment or not is another story.
The side chick is “the other woman”
Finally, some men tend to attract primarily married women as their love interests. Even if he always professes his undying love for them and swears that he wants nothing more than to be with them forever, likely, she will never become his main girl because she could potentially ruin her marriage or reveal his infidelity. In cases like this, the man may still try to convince the woman to see him as well as her husband. He may say that having a wife is just a form of convenience for him, especially if he has no intentions of marrying or settling down with anyone woman.
Ways to Tell He Has Fallen in Love
He spends time with her in public
If a man is still hiding his other woman from everyone he knows, then it’s pretty unlikely that he will suddenly introduce her to family and friends. He would also refrain from going places with his lady if there was any chance of them running into his girlfriend or wife. However, suppose the man has no qualms about being open about your relationship or even bringing you out in public to do fun activities together. In that case, this could indicate that he has genuine feelings for you.
He says “I love you” early on
When a man is falling in love with a woman, he often lets her know how much she means to him by professing his feelings before he knows who she is as an individual. He may say that he loves you because he cares about her and wants to be with her. Saying “I love you” is a quick way for him to come to terms with his feelings so that he can move forward and continue pursuing this side chick without worrying about how much she means to him.
It’s much more than sex
For some men, having sex with someone is simply about getting off. But for others, it can become much more than that. When a man falls in love with his side chick, he will either start to want to spend time with her outside of the bedroom or he may begin initiating physical contact regularly because he’s only seen as an option for satisfying her sexual needs.
You know who she is
If you know everything there is to know about this other woman (or even if you don’t), then the man probably loves her because he wants to make sure that she’s happy too. He’d rather share himself instead of keeping part of his life hidden from her. That way, they both have someone they can confide in and depend on.
He’s grown tired of his main squeeze
If the man seems to have lost interest in his girlfriend or wife, it could signify that he doesn’t love her anymore. Because he loves you so much, he knows that being with someone else would only make him feel miserable. If this other woman has been completely pushed to the side, it’s likely because she no longer serves a purpose for him beyond just having an affair.
He wants to be her hero
In some cases, a man can fall in love with his side chick because he sees her as a damsel in distress. Maybe she’s stuck in a bad relationship, or she may even be going through a rough patch at work. Therefore, he wants to help this woman have the better life she deserves by being there for her whenever she needs him.
He trusts her completely
If the man trusts his side chick, then he probably also respects who she is as a person. He wouldn’t let her into his life if he didn’t believe she was good enough for him. Therefore, it’s likely that he has fallen in love with her because he values her opinion about everything and enjoys spending time with her outside of bed.
She knows his deepest, darkest secrets
A man can fall in love with his side chick by confiding in her the things he doesn’t even tell close friends or family members. If she knows more about him than anyone else does (or ever will), then this could be another sign that he wants to give himself over entirely to you even though you’re not his main squeeze.
He makes sure that she’s treated well
Whether it’s buying her gifts or taking her to specific events, a man in love with his side chick will go the extra mile for her. This is different from a man who is just trying to impress and seduce his mistress because he would only pick up the tab if he wanted to sleep with her. But he’ll spoil this other woman with nice things as long as she doesn’t ask him for anything more than for him to be there for her simply.
He makes plans with her
A man can fall in love with his side chick when he starts to make plans beyond sleeping with her. He may want to meet up with her now and then, or they may even spend their weekends together depending on how much time they have to spare. As long as he is consistently trying to make an effort, you know that he loves you because of your person.
He’s emotionally present
When a man loves his side chick, he’ll put in the effort to be emotionally available for her. When they’re hanging out, he won’t space out and stare at his phone because his thoughts are always on you and not with someone else. He’s so happy with the arrangement that he doesn’t feel the need to look for what is right in front of him. ## His actions speak louder than words. Believe it or not, a man can fall in love with his side chick just by how he acts around her. If she means more than just sex to him, then there will be plenty of physical affection as well as time spent talking about your future together outside of bed.
He doesn’t wear his wedding ring
Wearing your wedding ring all the time shows that you’re someone’s forever. If he isn’t wearing his ring, it could be a sign that he doesn’t want to be with his wife anymore and that there is no need for him to keep up appearances when he’s around his side chick.
He makes plans with her
This might include talking about where the two of you will live and what kind of lifestyle you’ll have together if she was made aware of your true feelings for her. This is different from competition anxiety because the man won’t see this other woman as a threat but rather more like a partner in crime who can help make his fantasies come true despite trying to accomplish them on his own much less exciting.
Reasons You Should End a Side Chick Relationship
You are being used as a plan B
You’ll know that you’re being played for a fool if there is no real emotional or physical connection between the two of you. In many cases, men cheating with their side chicks will use them as a “plan B” in case something happens with his main girl. Even though they think they can never leave their girlfriends, the man will keep the woman around because he may need her one day.
Your time and effort is going to waste
Whether it’s waiting at home for him to come back from doing who knows what with his main chick or spending large amounts of money on an emotional vampire, your time and energy are better used on people who care about what you have to contribute as a person. If he isn’t willing to put in the effort for you, why should you bother putting in the time and energy for him?
You’re not adding value to his life
The problem with side chicks is that they always believe that they can make a man stay or do whatever they want. But if he’s still trying to be with his main girl, there is no way for you to add value to his life. If you were critical enough for him to give up everything else, then it would have already happened by now. ## He doesn’t care about your happiness. Side chicks are usually okay being mistreated because they think their turn will eventually come around the next time. But if your guy doesn’t care about your happiness, he will never indeed be ready to leave his girlfriend for you.
You will not become his girlfriend
A man who loves his side chick will never honestly want to marry her or have her become his girlfriend because that would mean that everything he has done up until this point was a waste of time. He knows that it’s not worth giving up all the perks of being in a relationship with his main girl for something serious with you, so keep your expectations low if you decide to continue having sex with him.
You deserve better than this
You may not realize it yet, but you deserve better than someone who doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer. This may be hard to take in because your self-esteem could be pretty low by now after all these years of being a side chick. But keep reminding yourself that there are plenty of other people who will give you the kind of affection you truly deserve and not just put up with your antics for sex.
You are closing the door to the right man
Everything you’re doing with this man is confusing the right man for the wrong one. If you wait around for him to become available, then he will never show up because your time in his life has run its course. So if there is any doubt in your mind about wanting to be with this man, then it’s best to leave now before you lose an opportunity to meet someone who truly deserves all of your attention and affection.
You are opening the door to bad karma
If you continue to sleep with a man in love with another woman, you are opening the door for bad karma to come your way. The best way to avoid this is to stop engaging in sexual intimacy with men already taken because it isn’t worth the risk of having future problems down the line.
How to Walk Away from Being a Side Chick
The best way to walk away from being a side chick is to stop engaging in sexual intimacy with men who are already taken. Instead of waiting for him, you need to move on and allow this man to do the same because he will not be available until he decides that his relationship with his main girl is done forever.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Is it wrong to feel that I deserve happiness after making all of these sacrifices for him?
A: You should not be using the word “sacrifice” when talking about your relationship because you don’t need to sacrifice anything. If this man wanted to be with you instead of his girlfriend, he would have committed entirely by now. But since he isn’t ready, there’s no reason why you should give up your life for someone who doesn’t appreciate everything that you’re contributing.
Q: What if the main girl is a bad person?
A: Even if the main girl is wrong, that still does not mean she deserves to lose her man over something as silly as mistreatment or cheating. If she’s a bad person, know that she’s probably doing these things because he is not treating her right either.
Q: Why can’t I seem to let go if I’ve never had the man?
A: The reality is that you are letting yourself be treated like crap because you want what you think this person has to offer. If you take away the fantasy, all there is left are your problems. It may take time for your heart to heal, but it will eventually notice the happiness it deserves after it learns how to be alone again. You owe yourself better treatment than this.
A man will not always choose the woman he thinks is best for him. He might feel like he needs to stick with his main girl even though she’s giving him a hard time, simply because he doesn’t want to hurt her or deal with the drama that comes with breaking up. If this is happening in your life, it’s about time that you come forward and end things once and for all. A man who truly loves you will be willing to face any consequences of being with you instead.