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If you’re finding that you love someone more than they love you, it can be a confusing and painful experience. You might not know what to do or where to turn for help. Don’t worry – we’re here to provide some guidance on dealing with this situation. Keep reading for our tips on how to get through this tough time.
What to Do When You Love Someone More Than They Love You
Don’t presume to know how much they love you
Before you do anything else, you mustn’t jump to conclusions about the situation. Don’t presume to know how much they love you – especially if their actions (or lack thereof) indicate something different.
Even though you might be certain that the other person doesn’t share your feelings, it’s best not to make assumptions until you know for sure. Sure, the person might not be showing it in any way – but that’s not necessarily an accurate indicator of how they feel.
Many people mistake expectations for love; this means that you might believe they should love you more than they do even though there is no actual basis for your feelings. Again, this is your heart speaking – not your head.
Only once you’ve ruled out this possibility should you go ahead and begin to accept the truth: they don’t love you as much as you’d like them to.
Accept it with grace and dignity
It can be not easy when you love someone more than they love you, but try not to let it get the better of you. Instead, put on your best face and show them how gracefully you can deal with this rejection.
Don’t make things uncomfortable for either of you – if they know that it’s hard for you, they might feel even worse about themselves (after all, they know you’re more invested in the relationship than they are).
Give yourself time to grieve and move on. You might feel tempted to throw a fit or beg some more – but these things will only make the person who doesn’t love you feel worse for having to reject you. So hold back your tears and let them go (after all, that’s what you want them to do).
Remember that you’re not alone
While it might feel like the world is ending when they don’t love you back, remind yourself that this isn’t the end of your life (or even the end of your relationship). You can (and will) get through these hard times!
Also, keep in mind that you’re not alone. Many people have been through this and survived; they’ll be more than happy to share their experiences with you and support you when things get tough.
If you find yourself struggling and need some extra help (from a professional or a friend), don’t be afraid to reach out and get it.
Determine each other’s love languages
Another thing you can do is look at the situation from a different perspective.
What if this person’s love language isn’t words of affirmation or physical touch? What if it’s something else entirely – like acts of service or quality time? If that were the case, then their lack of affection might signify that they need to show you they care in other ways.
This can help you see their love for you more positively, so try to stay optimistic and kind throughout the whole thing.
Learn to feel loved based on what your partner does do to show their love
The best thing you can do is focus on what your partner does to make you feel loved. Maybe they don’t say “I love you” as often as you’d like, but they’ll hold your hand or spend time with you whenever possible.
If this person truly loves you – even if it’s not as much as you love them – then they’ll make an effort to show it. So don’t focus on what they haven’t done, instead think about the moments that are happening right now.
After all, there are plenty of ways for people to feel loved without needing to hear words of affirmation. And if this person doesn’t say “I love you” as much as you do – that doesn’t mean they don’t have their ways of showing it.
Explain to them what you would like them to do
Sometimes people find it difficult to figure out how someone else needs to feel loved in a relationship.
If your partner doesn’t know what you need, try telling them about this problem and explaining exactly how they can best make you feel loved. That way, they’ll be able to do their best to show you affection in the ways that are most important to you.
To make this easier, you could even write down a list of all the things your partner can do (or say) to make you feel loved.
That way, they’ll know exactly what they need to do and when they’ve done it. This will help them become better at showing their love so that you’ll stop feeling so sad whenever they don’t say “I love you.”
Be honest about how hurtful their lack of love is for you
If your partner isn’t doing any of the above, be honest with them. Tell them that their lack of affection hurts you more than most other things in the relationship.
While it might be easier to keep quiet, so you don’t upset them, this is one thing where it’s better to be straight up. If they don’t realize how much their lack of affection hurts you, they won’t know there’s a problem, and nothing will change.
So tell them! Explain that you need more love than most people because you feel it so deeply and need them to help you. If they care about your feelings, they’ll try to do this for you.
Realize that some people just aren’t as affectionate as others
Of course, there’s also a chance that your partner doesn’t love you as much as you love them – and there’s nothing wrong with that.
This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you; it just means that they might not be as affectionate or “in touch” with their emotions. If this is the case, all you can do is accept it and focus on what your partner does give you rather than what they don’t give you.
Don’t make them feel bad about it; try to remember that this is just who they are, and not every person is the same. Instead, think of what makes you happy in your relationship and focus on those things whenever anything negative comes up.
Often people feel like their partner doesn’t love them as much as they do because they’re looking for affection in all the wrong places. For example, arguments are usually a bad time to look for love because that’s when you’re least likely to get it.
So try not to compare your relationship with other people or relationships you see on TV – you can’t expect anyone to feel exactly how you do about anything, so don’t think it’s normal to expect your partner to treat you the same way as someone else.
The most important thing is that the love your partner gives you is enough for you, even if it doesn’t feel like enough sometimes.
Communicate with your partner about how much they mean to you
If having more affection from your partner would make you happier, you can tell them the best thing you can do.
There are plenty of ways to show love without saying “I love you” all the time, so don’t think you have to wait until they change before you tell them how much they mean to you.
It’s okay to feel this way because it doesn’t make your feelings for someone any less real.
If you don’t feel like you can say it to their face, write a letter or a poem or talk to someone about it.
Don’t keep score (of affection)
If someone asks you how much your partner loves you, don’t answer with a number. There’s no way to measure how much someone loves you, and comparing it will only make you feel worse.
You can’t expect the same amount of love all the time, so don’t set your standards too high otherwise, you might end.
Don’t settle for no love, or love with abuse or neglect
It’s easy to think that you deserve no love because of how much affection your partner is giving you, but there are plenty of people who will provide you with what you need.
So if your current relationship isn’t bringing you happiness, don’t keep it just for the sake of having someone. Remove yourself from the situation and find someone new.
You deserve to be happy, so don’t settle for less than that.
Give yourself time to heal if necessary
It’s important not to rush into a new relationship because your ex-partner isn’t enough for you. If you do, you’ll end up hurting someone else in the process of trying to forget about the pain your ex caused you.
Let yourself heal, and don’t rush into something new because you feel lonely. You shouldn’t compromise your emotional health to have someone by your side, so take time to work on yourself first before trying anything new.
It takes time to fall in love with anyone, and it’s important not to expect too much from one person in particular, but to value yourself and your needs.
If you give someone all of your love before you know whether they’ll love you back, it might make you feel like this situation has taken something from you that can’t be replaced.
Signs You Love Someone More Than They Love You
Your partner makes plans and decisions without you or doesn’t include you in things that are important to you
The most obvious sign that someone loves another person more than they love them is when they don’t want anything to do with each other.
When your partner can’t be away from you for too long, avoids spending time with your friends and family, or makes decisions without consulting you first, it’s a sign that you’re not as important to them as they are to you.
You feel like your love is the only thing keeping your relationship together
No matter how much someone loves you, if they don’t respect you enough to meet your needs, their feelings for you mean nothing.
They might say they want to be with you, but making plans to see each other or make decisions without consulting you first is a sign that they don’t care about your feelings.
You need them more than they need you
You might think it’s unbalanced for someone to love another person more than the other loves them back, but this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the relationship.
It’s okay to feel this way because it doesn’t make your feelings for someone any less real. It means you’re loyal and devoted to the person, so telling them how you feel will only strengthen your relationship.
Your partner is interested in your personal life but not as much as you’d like them to be
It’s easy to find yourself in a situation where your partner doesn’t seem as interested in your life as you are in theirs.
If they ask questions but don’t reciprocate and share their own stories, it might give you the impression that they don’t care about what you have to say. If this happens, open up and let them know how you feel to get the response you need.
You have chemistry but don’t have a lot in common
If your partner doesn’t seem interested in what’s going on outside of their bubble, or they only ever want to do things that are of interest to them, this is another sign that it might be one-sided.
When you have chemistry with someone, it’s important to have things in common that keep the relationship interesting for both people involved.
Knowing when you love someone more than they love you is one thing, but knowing what to do about it is another. If your partner only loves you so much and there’s no room for anything else, you both deserve to be with someone who loves you back.
Conclusion
Acknowledge the situation and move on. If you continue to pursue a relationship that is not reciprocal, it can be more damaging than beneficial for both parties involved. Rather than wasting your time trying to change someone’s feelings, try moving forward with life while maintaining contact amicably. You may find new people who love you as much as you do them!
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