How to stop loving a married woman. It’s something no man wants to think he’ll ever have to do, but for some of us, it has become a reality. I could probably go on about that for a few paragraphs, but the fact is that there are more men out there who aren’t living the bachelor lifestyle they want because their love is stuck on someone who simply can’t return it. There are obviously other reasons why this may be the case, but I’d rather not go into those right now.
What’s important to realize is that whenever you have feelings for another person, there are always ways to deal with them effectively. If your love is becoming too much of a burden to bear, there are a lot of things you can do to emotionally detach yourself from the situation and find your love life more fulfilling than ever.
Of course, you don’t want to jump into any kind of relationship with another woman right away. That will only complicate things and make it harder for you to move on completely, and what good would that do you? You need to find something that will help you get over this person and then come up with a plan for maintaining your emotional distance even after you’ve met other women.
How to Stop Loving a Married Woman
Recognize that you are not receiving what you need.
When you are in a relationship with someone who is married, it’s important to recognize that you’re not the only one being affected by their choice to stay in an unhappy marriage. The other person involved — the wife — is being affected just as much, if not more so. Relationship experts will tell you that women have different needs than men, and when they are not being met, it can create problems.
There is nothing wrong with having needs in a relationship. When you believe someone is neglecting your needs, that’s when issues can arise. When the other person feels that their needs are not being met, then resentment starts to grow — even if it’s for something seemingly small.
Stop thinking of yourself as a hero who has saved her.
Many men who get into a relationship with a married woman have one thing in common: They want to save her from what they believe is a bad situation. It’s a nice thought, but it becomes a problem when your beliefs are being directed toward someone else’s life. Even if you truly believe that she needs rescuing, she may not feel the same way.
Her husband may be extremely abusive, or she may be in an emotionally abusive relationship where the constant fighting has decreased her own self-worth. Before you can truly help someone, they must want to be helped. You cannot force someone into a situation where they are uncomfortable, otherwise it will only create resentment for both of you down the road.
She may not want to stay in her marriage, but she believes that there is no real way out. If you want someone to be truly happy, then you must let them find their own way to happiness.
Decide that you are deserving of a better life.
When you are in a relationship with someone who is married, it’s easy to get caught up in the mix. All of your good days may be good, and all of your bad days may be bad. However, when you examine the situation closely, it could reveal that this person probably isn’t right for you in many ways. This is not meant to hurt your feelings, but you deserve better than someone who stays in an unhappy marriage.
Think about whether this person is truly the type of person you want to date long-term. Do they make time for you? Do they meet your emotional needs? When their relationship with their spouse goes south, are they going to choose you over their spouse? Think about the long-term and what you want out of a relationship before making any major decisions. If you feel like this person isn’t good for you, then they probably aren’t.
Make the decision to be happy without them.
Another important thing to realize is that relationships are two-way streets — both parties have to be committed. While you may not know if the relationship with their spouse is truly over, you need to think about your own future and what kind of commitment you can expect from this person.
If they are still able to dedicate time and energy toward someone else, then it’s probably a good idea to let go of them before any feelings get too serious. Relationships require time and energy, and if one party isn’t willing to put in the same effort as you are, then it’s probably not going to work out in the long-run.
Lower your expectations and realize that what you’re getting is probably not what you’re going to get. This way, when things don’t work out, you won’t feel as let down.
Decide that you better options are still out there.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself while you’re single! You do not have to devote every waking moment to the person who is married — make sure to take time for yourself.
When you constantly put your life on hold in the hopes that something will happen, then you’re going to end up extremely disappointed. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and let it consume your life, but the best thing you can do is realize that better things are out there.
Don’t spend time wishing things were different — make a change by taking action. If you are dissatisfied with your current situation, then it’s up to you to make the necessary changes in order for things to get better.
Accept that she isn’t in love with you, and be honest.
A lot of times, when you’re in love with someone who is married, you begin to convince yourself that they really do love you. If they haven’t made any comments about leaving their spouse then it’s safe to assume that they aren’t going to do so anytime soon.
If the person tells you that they are in love with you, yet they stay in a marriage, then their words and actions don’t line up. If you want to be in love with someone who is in love with you back, then it’s important to realize that this person is probably not going to choose you over their spouse.
Tell her that you are unhappy being a part of her lie.
You should tell her that you’re not comfortable with being part of her secret. Disapproval will cause a rift in your relationship, but it’s better to take this action now rather than later when the damage done would be worse.
Don’t answer her text messages.
If you keep getting messages from her, politely tell her that a text message isn’t a good way to communicate with you and ask her not to contact you by SMS. Don’t respond if she continues to send messages, as that will only encourage the behavior.
Remove yourself from her social network or workplace.
If she’s a friend or colleague, then it might be in everyone’s best interest if you remove yourself from the picture. Don’t feel pressured to do this option though if it would make you unhappy. This solution is only for people who are certain it would be better for their mental health to distance themselves from your married lover.
Allow yourself time to grieve and move on with life.
It might be a good idea to take some time for yourself and heal after your affair with a married woman comes to an end. You may feel regret, anger or sadness over the fact that you were deceived about her relationship status. It can be tough to deal with these feelings, but they will help you avoid suffering from any lasting emotional scars that this experience might have brought on.
FAQs About Loving a Married Woman
1. Why am I in love with a married woman?
Your feelings for this woman are normal. She represents an ideal that you seek, even if this relationship is not what you imagined it would be. This type of relationship isn’t right for everyone, but there are ways to make it work if both partners want it bad enough.
2. Is she really married?
Yes, unless someone has already filed for divorce and the proceedings have begun. She may be separated or just living apart from her husband while deciding what to do next. If you want to pursue this relationship, then it’s important that you know exactly where she stands in regards to marriage and any other relationships she may be involved in.
3. What if she isn’t sure how to end the marriage?
The ideal scenario is for her to decide whether or not she wants a divorce, and then take steps towards making that happen; however, you cannot make the decision for her. If she’s unsure about her future with her husband, then you’re going to have a hard time convincing her that you’re worth the risk involved.
4. How can I get her to leave him for me?
This is not a healthy way of thinking, and if it’s your emotional goal, then this relationship isn’t right for you. You cannot change anyone but yourself, so focus on changing your own behavior and accept that the only control you have is over yourself.
If this woman wants to end her marriage, then you can be there to support her. However, if she’s looking for something short-term or simply doesn’t know what she wants, then it may not be worth the heartache involved in trying to pursue her.