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To some, the idea of a guy fantasizing about them is either flattering or terrifying. Guys often prefer to think that it’s the latter, due to lack of experience in this area. On the contrary, however, guys fantasize regularly and frequently fantasize about their crushes regularly as well. Most guys aren’t going to overthink about it, but if they’re open to you in conversation, then they may be willing to let you in on what their fantasies are.
Why Do We Fantasize?
Fantasizing often has a lot to do with our desires for pleasure and excitement, as well as the need for novelty. In other words, you want what you can’t have or have not had before – or at least that’s how it’s supposed to work.
We also fantasize about people we know to familiarize ourselves with them. This leads to a greater sense of intimacy and ultimately makes us feel more connected.
Another reason we fantasize is that it allows us to escape from the monotony of our daily lives, even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time.
What Do Guys Fantasize About When They Like a Girl?
When guys fantasize about a girl they like, it has less to do with what she’s doing or who she is and more to do with their desire for her. In a way, a guy’s fantasy exists as a manifestation of his subconscious mind that tells him what he wants from you. Most times, these fantasies have little basis in reality.
For example, a guy might fantasize that the girl he likes invites him over to her house so they can have sex, and she strips naked in front of him and begs for his touch. Though this is an improbable scenario, it’s easy to see how many guys would get excited about being with you if you were to do something as simple as a smile at him. He might be so taken aback by this that he thinks about it or him more often than usual simply because you caught his attention in some way.
If you happen to have a crush on him, too, then there’s even more reason for excitement. When two people have crushes on each other, it makes the idea of fantasizing about the other person even more exciting.
Signs a Guy Fantasizes About You
His pupils dilate
Dilation of your guy’s pupils can signify that he is physically attracted to you, which could have something to do with his fantasies. A study at the University of Massachusetts found that 40 men shown photographs of women found attractive experienced pupil dilation when looking at photos of their favorite female celebrities. The same occurred when they looked at their significant others or even when they looked at random women they were not sexually interested in (Markey, 2006).
He has walls up/is hesitant to talk about it
He may be embarrassed by his fantasy and won’t want to tell you what it is because he doesn’t think you’ll find it attractive. While this might make things a little more complicated, it’s not impossible to get him to open up about it. Try flirting with him and putting yourself in an intimate position (like sitting down next to him) and see what you can do. If he still won’t open up, try asking why he has walls up or won’t talk about his fantasy.
He finds excuses to touch you
Guys fantasizing about you will often take any opportunity they can get to touch you. This could mean putting their arm around you while walking or casually touching your knee when talking. If he’s not asking for permission, then your guy may be just looking to be more physically intimate with you to fuel his fantasy.
His imagination takes over
Fantasizing about someone, especially someone he knows, often encourages him to imagine specific scenarios – like what would happen if the two of you were alone together somewhere (like an empty classroom at school). He might even think of himself as being involved in these fantasies and this is all part of the fun!
His body language changes
A guys’ body language might change when fantasizing about someone and especially when imagining himself in specific situations (like making out with you). If his facial expression gets more intense or he starts closing the distance between himself and you, then it’s likely that he will confess what’s going on in his head.
You catch him checking you out
The fact that you catch your guy checking you out can signify that he fantasizes about you. In most cases, guys won’t stare at the object of their fantasies for too long as they don’t want to creep them out. However, often his fantasies will cause him to check repeatedly so that he can build up an image in his head.
He makes eye contact with you
Eye contact with someone attracted to another person is one sign that the attraction may be mutual. In most cases, where a guy fantasizes about a girl, he’ll try to maintain eye contact with her to make the fantasy more realistic.
He gets defensive/angry when you tease him
If your guy has been caught in the act of fantasizing about someone, and you tease him about it, then this could cause him to get angry or even defensive. This is because he wants you to think that his fantasies are not something to be ashamed of and that they don’t hurt anybody.
He drifts off into his little world
He might seem distant and uninterested in what you’re saying when he’s fantasizing about someone else, and this is because his thoughts are far away, and the only thing that matters to him at this moment is what’s going on in his head.
He tells you exactly why he finds you attractive
If your guy has been fantasizing about you for a while, then it won’t come as a surprise if he tries to tell you why he finds certain things attractive about you. In some cases, all this fuels his fantasies by allowing them to become a reality.
He tells you he had a dream about you
Details are everything when it comes to fantasies, and if your guy has dreamt about the two of you, then he’ll want to share every subtle detail with you. This can certainly spice things up between the two of you, whether or not his fantasy was romantic.
He tries to act more “manly” around you
Your guy might try to act more “manly” to become the person he thinks you want him to be when all this is doing is emphasizing his desire for you. He might even do things that he finds embarrassing – like dropping hints about your relationship or trying to express how much he cares about you.
His friends see him checking out other girls
If his friends notice it, maybe he’s not hiding it very well. It may be a sign that someone else has caught his eye, which could lead to an uncomfortable conversation between the two of you.
He starts flirting with other girls
If your guy is fantasizing about someone else while flirting with other girls, then it could mean that he’s hoping to make you jealous. In other cases, he could be trying to convince himself that his fantasies are just a fantasy and that they don’t bother him in a real relationship.
He doesn’t want to show interest in anyone else
When your guy fantasizes about someone, it usually means that there’s no room for anyone else – at least not until he figures out if the object of his fantasies reciprocates these feelings.
His voice goes deeper
If your guy finds you attractive, then his voice will generally deepen. This is because deep voices are commonly associated with strong, dominant men capable of protecting women.
He starts talking about what he likes about this girl
If your guy has stopped hiding his fantasies and begins discussing them with you, there could be trouble on the horizon. It’s clear that he wants you to know why he finds someone else desirable, and if these reasons don’t match up with your list of attributes, it could lead to problems in the relationship.
You feel the sexual chemistry disappear
When you find out that your guy has been fantasizing about someone else and/or trying to impress them, then the sexual chemistry between the two of you will likely disappear. While it’s certainly possible for this chemistry to reappear at a later date, it can also make things difficult if you feel as though he’ll always look elsewhere when it comes to sex.
He talks about her behind her back
If your guy is talking about his latest fantasy girl, then there’s a good chance that he’s going to badmouth her behind her back. This isn’t typically done to deliberately hurt anyone but rather because these fantasies are likely something that he doesn’t want others knowing anything about.
He shows off his body
Your guy might attempt to show off his body to impress the object of his fantasies. If he’s constantly flexing, then it could be that he’s looking for approval or is trying to convince this girl that they’re meant to be together.
He falls asleep quickly after sex
After sex, your guy should want nothing more than to cuddle with you and fall asleep in your arms, even if he was fantasizing about someone else during the act. If your guy isn’t showing signs of affection after sex, it can be because other people are on his mind.
He shares his fantasies with you
If your guy is sharing his fantasies with you, it could mean an underlying problem within the relationship. His need to share these intimate details about another woman can be a sign that he sees this individual as someone who has qualities lacking in your relationship.
He flirts back
Fantasizing about someone he has a crush on often encourages a guy to flirt with her because it’s the way his mind tells him to get closer to her. In terms of flirting, this may seem as if he is just as interested as before but that isn’t always the case. If you’re wondering if your guy fantasizes about you, then look for flirting signs and see what happens from there!
He starts thinking about you when masturbating
Masturbation and fantasizing go hand in hand for most guys. If your guy studies hard and has a lot to think about, it may be challenging to get him to talk or open up about his fantasy life. However, if he does start thinking about you while masturbating, then maybe that’s a sign that he wants to share this with you.
He becomes defensive when you are mentioned
If your guy gets defensive when you’re mentioned, it’s likely because he feels guilty for fantasizing about someone else. He might also be trying to convince himself that he doesn’t want anything more than friendship with this girl and therefore tries his best to distance himself from you.
He wants to get close to you all the time/constantly touches you
If your guy wants to be near you all the time, it’s likely because he doesn’t want to risk losing you. He could also be pursuing this girl due to a lack of other options and will try anything to convince himself that she should be with him. While his desire to constantly touch you might be a sign that he’s trying too hard, there can also be other reasons why he’s doing this.
He says she’s too good for him
Your guy might say this because he thinks that she deserves someone better than him or because he feels guilty for fantasizing about her. He could also say this since people often say when they’re trying to convince themselves and others why they shouldn’t pursue someone else.
He casually talks about you to other people
If your guy is talking about you to other people, then it’s clear that he doesn’t see himself as being “good enough” for you. This mentality will often lead a man to fantasize about another woman he feels can better match up with his confidence and strength.
He blushes around you
While your guy may blush when he sees other women out of sheer nervousness, if you notice him blushing in your general direction, then it could be because he has feelings for this girl. Blushing is often a sign of embarrassment or guilt but can also mean falling in love with someone else right in front of their significant other.
He wants to know how others see her
If your guy reveals his fantasies to you and begins asking questions about what others might think of the object of his desire, then it could be a sign that he expects something big to happen and is hoping to find validation from those around him.
He showers you with compliments
Compliments are an excellent way for your guy to show you how much he cares about you. However, if all of his compliments seem to focus on someone else, it could be because he wants this girl more than you combined.
He sits with his legs wide open
While your guy may have always sat with his legs wide open, if he does it more often when there’s a certain girl around, it can be an attempt to gain her approval.
He starts talking about what he likes about this girl
If your guy has stopped hiding his fantasies and begins discussing them with you, there could be trouble on the horizon. It’s clear that he wants you to know why he finds someone else desirable, and if these reasons don’t match up with your list of attributes, it could lead to problems in the relationship.
He wants to spend time alone with you
If your guy wants to spend time alone with you, then this could mean that he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s fantasizing about someone else. His need for intimacy could be because he’s afraid of giving off the wrong impression and/or doesn’t want anyone to know that he might have feelings for another woman.
He invites you to hang out at home
Another sign of a guy fantasizing about you is his invitation for you to come to hang out at his place. While it’s certainly possible that he’s trying to make himself more appealing, some guys prefer not to be seen in public with the women they fantasize about.
Conclusion
If your guy suddenly starts acting this way, it could be because he’s trying to hide the fact that he has these fantasies. While it often isn’t intentional, guys who want to keep their fantasies a secret will sometimes try to do so by avoiding situations where they know these girls will be present and/or spending time alone with them.
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