We’ve all been that girl at the bar. The girl who’s always getting approached by different guys, night after night. And although we enjoy flirting with them and having fun, deep down, we know they won’t stick around (or come back) in the morning.
Why? Because guys like variety and girls like comfort…. or do they?
Why Do Guys Hook Up With the Same Girl
The Sex Is Too Good to Walk Away
We all know that sex is a big part of any relationship, and guys are pretty open about it, saying they’re willing to have sex with the same girl over and over again, and it’s just physical.
But for girls, once you cross that line of having sex with someone—even if it’s just one time—you might start developing feelings or “connections” with them. And once those connections form, it can be hard to let go of them.
Even if being with him is not what you want anymore, your mind will often trick itself into believing otherwise because casual hookups always end in some emotional connection.
He Wants a Long-Term FWB
Believe it or not, most guys don’t want a relationship, and they’re more than happy with their current arrangement of having sex on the regular without any strings attached. So they’ll go to the same girl night after night because she’s always down for sex and never demands anything more than that.
He Wants Attention
Guys are the same. That’s right, they may act like it’s fun to be with different girls all the time, but really, guys want attention too. While he might not always show it (or feel comfortable showing it), a part of him wants to know that people admire his choice of girl and that he has options.
You Make Him Jealous
Well, not intentionally, of course! But what is it called when you’re stopping to talk to some guy at the bar while he’s waiting for you? Surely, there’s a word for that!
Or when some other girl walks up to him while you’re both talking or dancing? Yeah… that one too.
Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t want to keep seeing you. That will only make him lose respect for you.
It Makes Him Feel Good About Himself
When a guy sees that another guy is interested in you, two things come into play: validation and competition. He’s looking to see if the other guy has what it takes to hook up with you. And if he knows he does have what it takes, all the better.
It’s like a game to him, and it makes him feel good to know he won! He also wants the other guys around you to know that he’s “won” too, so expect some bragging rights.
It Makes Him Feel Like You Want Him
Guys are pretty simple creatures… at least when it comes to this. They’re not always looking for a commitment, but they want to feel like you want them.
Well, that might be an understatement. Guys just want to feel wanted! And if another guy comes around and wants you to? It makes him think he’s doing something right.
He’s temporarily satisfied until the next girl shows up who’s interested in him.
He Wants to De-stress
Although it’s not always true, there are some guys out there who want a relationship more than anything. They might be looking to get married one day and settle down in a lovely suburban home with 2.5 kids and a dog… but sometimes?
Sometimes they need a break from the stress of work and family life. And if that break is a no-strings-attached hookup? Well, as long as you make them feel good about themselves and get what they want from the arrangement, he’s all for it.
And some guys might even be looking to make some friends along the way… girls tend to be nicer than guys at first! 😉
He Might Like the Challenge
On the other end of the spectrum, some guys thrive on challenges. If you’re unavailable, a challenge is exactly what they’ll be looking for! And it doesn’t get more “unavailable” than a girl with another guy…
To them, that only makes the hunt that much more fun and exciting. Unfortunately, the more guys you have after you, the less likely they will pick one in particular.
After all, why settle for a girl who’s already spoken for when there are so many other “conquests” waiting? But once you’ve gone on enough dates with enough different guys… that might start to change!
He Thinks You’re Being Sneaky
If you’re constantly “hooking up” with guys behind your boyfriend’s back, it’s only a matter of time before he starts asking why. And if he gets enough different answers? He might not have all the facts, but he’ll certainly start to put two and two together.
If you say you’re just “hanging out”, and it seems like you’re always sneaking around, that’s going to call into question your honesty. And even if he doesn’t know what’s true, he’ll start to wonder who is!
You Two Have a Good Chemistry
When you meet a new guy, and things click, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Chemistry is vital in any relationship and if things feel right with this one… then go for it!
It might not always last forever, but even if it doesn’t work out, the chances are good that your boyfriend will know exactly what’s up. And if he likes the guy you’re seeing? Well, all the better!
He’s Developing Feelings For You
Do you know how they say “love is blind”? Love might not make him see things clearly, but it will mess with his judgment. And if he has any hope of winning you over? He’ll start convincing himself that everything will work out… even though deep down he knows better!
Don’t worry, though! He’s probably not going to say the “L” word anytime soon… but if you do? Then his feelings are most likely pretty strong.
Does Hooking Up With a Guy More Than Once Mean Anything?
Hooking up with a guy more than once might not be a clear sign of commitment, but it does hold some weight. And if you think about it? It’s a win-win situation!
If he likes you and wants to settle down, then hooking up with him is step one. However, if he doesn’t, it’s a great way to weed him out.
If he hasn’t run away yet? That means there’s something there. And you might not be looking for anything serious right now… but that doesn’t mean that he has to feel the same way!
There’s nothing wrong with having fun with a guy more than once and getting to know him a little better. And while some guys might not be looking for anything more than sex, others will look at it as a sign of commitment and try harder to impress you!
You can’t make assumptions about how he feels or what he’s thinking… but if your gut tells you that something’s different? Then maybe it is!
Frequently Asked Question About Hooking Up With the Same Girl
Is it a sign of commitment?
For the most part, yes! If he’s willing to hook up with you more than once, then that makes it pretty serious. He might not want anything serious right now… but that could change as soon as the next time you guys get together!
What if I’m not sure whether or not he’s interested?
It all depends on what you want. If casual sex is okay with you, then go for it! But if you’re feeling more than that… then take the time to get to know him better. And if nothing else, at least enjoy yourself!