Romantic advances and what happens afterward can be a troubling ordeal for many people. You’ve been dating someone for a little while, you finally decide to take the plunge, things seem to go well, and then- it all comes to a screeching halt. What happened? In some cases, it could be that they’re just not feeling the same way about you that you care about them. In other cases, it could be that they had a great time and now they don’t know what to do with you. There’s a whole host of reasons why people might act weird after hooking up.
Why Do Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up
He is not ready for a relationship
He may not be ready for the level of commitment that you are seeking. He might have thought that it was just fun and games with you, but now he wants something more serious. While he might have enjoyed your company, once he realizes how deep his feelings are, things suddenly become complicated for him.
You were never dating, to begin with
You thought that you had a boyfriend or girlfriend in this person, but they never saw it that way at all. They probably didn’t realize what they were getting into when hooking up with someone. They may think of you as a friend or even more than a friend- but not as their significant other. When they realize that you wanted more, they are put in a rather awkward position.
They have personal commitments to attend to
Some people go through times where they feel pressured by everything around them- school work, social events, and family obligations. Some guys may not want you to think of them as flaky or unreliable so they lie about what is going on with them. This might be the only way for them to let you down easily without hurting your feelings. However, if this keeps happening, then it’s time to take a step back and evaluate the situation.
The chasing gene
One of the most common reasons why guys might act weird after hooking up is because they’re not quite sure what to do with you. They might be unsure of how to act around you or even talk to you. This can be especially true if the guy is someone who generally isn’t very forward when it comes to relationships. He might have pursued you aggressively and then things progressed quickly, but now he’s not sure what comes next.
This can be frustrating for the girl involved because it might seem like he’s suddenly backing off or doesn’t want anything to do with her. In some cases, this is simply a case of the guy being unsure of how to behave and might change his tune once he gets some more experience.
The letdown gene
On the other hand, sometimes guys act weird after hooking up because they’re not sure how to handle the situation now that they’ve got what they wanted. For some guys, sex is just a physical act and once it’s over, they’re done with you. They don’t want to deal with any of the emotional baggage that comes along with a relationship and would rather just keep things casual.
You are scaring him away
There might be things that you do or say that come off as desperate or needy. You should never allow yourself to be a doormat and let someone walk all over you. At the same time, there is such thing as letting them think that they’re in control of things when really, you are playing the long con.
He doesn’t know how to tell you his feelings aren’t mutual
Some guys will try to make up excuses and lie about why something isn’t working out between the two of you. Whether he thinks it’s necessary due to ethical reasons or because he is embarrassed about not feeling the same way- we won’t get into that here. Whatever the case may be, people that lie about their feelings don’t usually do it out of the kindness of their hearts.
He did not enjoy himself
It’s possible that the guy you hooked up with just didn’t have a good time. Maybe you were too aggressive or he wasn’t in the mood. If this is the case, it might be better to just move on and find someone who will be more compatible with you.
You are being clingy
You might be coming on too strong or you could simply be seeing him all the time. There are different interpretations of this for every situation, but some guys will interpret it as you being clingy. If this is something that they enjoy- then it’s not a problem. However, if they think that you’re way more into them than they are into you- then things can get weird fast.
He has an inferiority complex
It’s possible that the guy you hooked up with is just insecure and doesn’t feel good about himself. This can manifest in different ways, but some guys might take the opportunity to sleep with someone as a way to make themselves feel better. If this is the case, it will be difficult to have a healthy relationship with him because he will always be looking for validation from others.
He is scared of relationships
Some people are just really bad at being in relationships. They may have been hurt in the past or they could simply not know how to handle being emotionally attached to someone else. If this is the case, then it’s better for both of you if you move on now or later on. It’s unfair to hold them back from having a healthy relationship with someone else.
The guy you hooked up with maybe going through a lot of changes due to his hormones. This can be confusing and frustrating for him, which might lead to him acting weird around you. If this is the case, then it’s best to give him some space and let him deal with things in his own time.
He is just not that into you
This is probably the most difficult thing to hear, but it’s also the most likely reason why he is acting weird after hooking up with you. It’s possible that he never saw you as anything more than a friend or someone to sleep with and now that the deed is done- he doesn’t know what to do with you. If this is the case, it’s best to just move on and find someone who will appreciate you for being you.
He was being manipulative
Some guys will act weird after hooking up with you because it is their way of testing your boundaries. If they see that you are willing to tolerate the confusion and awkwardness- then they might try to take advantage of this fact. They might ask you to do things with them or make promises about the future, only to later renege on their word. This can be an infuriating situation, but there is no point in engaging someone who does not have your best interests at heart.
He was being selfish
It’s possible that the guy you hooked up with just likes having a lady friend around for his benefit. Maybe he enjoys having someone to go out drinking with or travel around with him during his free time. If this is the case, then it might be time for him to find someone with who will share his life.
He doesn’t want things to change
It’s possible that you and the guy you hooked up with were very compatible in every way except one: your living situation or financial status. This can put a real strain on a relationship and make things awkward- even if nothing else has changed between you both. Sometimes people will think it is better to hash out these differences before trying to get into another relationship again. Other times, they might just hope that everything else stays the same while he continues sleeping with you or sees other women on the side (if this is what makes him uncomfortable). No matter what might happen though, it’s important, to be honest with each other and voice your concerns.
He needs time to recharge
It’s possible that the guy you hooked up with is just really tired from all of the socializing he has been doing lately. Maybe he went on a few dates in a row or he was out drinking with friends a lot. If this is the case, then he will need some time to himself to recharge and reflect on what he wants in life. This doesn’t mean that he is never going to want to see you again, but it does mean that he needs some space right now.
He is seeing someone else
This one hurts the most, but it’s also the most likely reason why the guy you hooked up with is acting weird around you. It’s possible that he has already moved on from your momentary fling and is seeing someone else now. This might be the reason why he keeps making plans with you only to back out last minute- he might just not have the courage to tell you what’s going on. If this is the case, it’s best to find some closure quickly and move on before your feelings get too involved.
He doesn’t think that you are interested in him
If none of these reasons fit into your situation, then perhaps the guy you hooked up with simply does not believe that you are interested in dating him anymore. If this is the case, then give him a little more time to show his true colors. A lot of guys who act weird after hooking with someone usually do so because they are afraid of rejection. If you are still interested in him, then it will be up to you to show him that there is a future between the two of you.
There was too much awkwardness after
It’s possible that the sex just wasn’t good or that you didn’t hit it off. This can lead to a lot of awkwardness and tension between the two of you. If this is the case, it’s best to just end things before they get too complicated.
He’s simply a player
At the end of the day, some guys are just players. They will sleep with anyone and everyone and they don’t care about the women that they hurt along the way. If this is the guy you hooked up with, then it’s best to just move on and find someone who will appreciate you for being you. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if the guy I hooked up with is acting weird?
If the guy you hooked up with is acting weird, then it’s best to give him some space. He might just need some time to recharge after a busy few weeks. If he’s already seeing someone else, then you’ll need to find some closure quickly and move on. If you’re still not sure what’s going on, then it might be time to have a conversation with him and see where things stand.
What should I do if I’m not interested in the guy anymore?
If you’re not interested in the guy anymore, then it’s best to just let him know. He might take the news hard, but at least you will both be able to move on more easily. It’s also possible that he was only interested in hooking up with you and he won’t be interested in anything more serious. If this is the case, then it’s best to find someone who will appreciate you for being you.
Is there a future for the guy and me?
It will be up to you to show the guy that there is a future between the two of you. If you’re interested in him, then make it known and see how he reacts. If he’s not interested, then it might be time to move on. There is no guarantee that things will work out, but it’s always worth a shot if you’re both invested in making it work.
What should I do if I’m still confused about what going on?
If you’re still confused about what’s going on, then it might be time to have a conversation with the guy and see where things stand. This is the only way to get clarity and move on if need be. If he’s not interested in talking, then it might be best to just move on and find someone who will appreciate you for being you.
So, why do guys act weird after hooking up? In some cases, it could be that they’re not ready for a relationship or that you were never dating in the first place. He might have personal commitments to attend to and he doesn’t want to scare you away. Alternatively, he may not know how to tell you his feelings aren’t mutual. Whatever the reason may be, don’t fret! There is plenty of other fish in the sea. Just remember to stay true to yourself and don’t let someone walk all over you.