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When someone is in a relationship, has children, and decides to cheat on the father of his kids is taking us back many years. This behavior has no justification whatsoever; neither for the mother nor for the innocent children that will be forced to live with this reality on top of already having lost one parent.
When someone decides to live this adventure, both the mother and the children will suffer a loss of rights on them as individuals, but also a combined one. The psychological effects of being a woman who is associated with this kind of betrayal are something that can not be easily described.
Psychological Effects Of Being The Other Woman
The pain of being forgotten
The pain that a woman experiences when she is the other woman is very real. It feels like someone has reached inside your chest and squeezed your heart until it bleeds. You feel as if you are not good enough, pretty enough, or sexy enough to keep the man’s attention. You start to doubt yourself and your worth as a woman.
You feel like you are nothing without him and that you will never be able to find someone who wants you for you. The pain of being forgotten is hard to shake off. It can consume your thoughts and make it difficult for you to move on. You may find yourself constantly checking his Facebook and social media accounts, looking at the pictures of him with his girlfriend. You may find yourself checking his cell phone to see if he has been calling or texting anyone else.
The pain of being cheated on
The thought of your significant other with another woman is something that most people would rather not think about. When your significant other is out with someone else, you tend to go into a panic and start imagining the worst. You can’t help but worry and obsess over what they might be doing together. It feels like every song on the radio reminds you of them and rekindles those old feelings that led to your break up.
When you are the other woman, you constantly worry that your significant other will get tired of waiting or lose interest in you. You constantly question if he is staying with you because of love or simply to not be alone until someone better comes along. Every time your significant other goes out with his friends it feels like a punch in the gut. And if he’s with her, you feel as if your whole world is crashing down around you.
Guilt is a heavy burden
When you are the other woman, guilt is a heavy burden to bear. There is always the thought that your significant other has someone waiting for him at home and that he’s betrayed another woman. You may feel like it isn’t fair to keep him from his family and friends because of your relationship. It can be difficult accepting the fact that you are hurting someone else just because of your selfishness.
There is also the guilt that comes with lying to everyone in your life about who he is to you. You may feel like you can’t tell anyone the truth, so you create elaborate lies and stories about how he broke up with his girlfriend or wife and moved on. You put on a façade for everyone and pretend that you aren’t hurting so they don’t judge you.
You may become weary from mental gymnastics
Being in a relationship when you know it isn’t right is difficult. When you are the other woman, a constant mental battle ensues to justify your position in his life. You may find yourself constantly trying to prove that you belong with him and that he is better off without her.
You must prove to everyone that they didn’t have a real connection and that she isn’t good enough for him. You must constantly convince yourself that you are better off with him than you would be if he were with his girlfriend or wife.
There is the fear of losing the man you love
Being in a relationship with someone married or another relationship takes a lot of effort and time. You have to be careful about how much time you spend with them and what you do when you are together. There is always the fear that if you slip up, he will leave you for her.
You may find yourself constantly checking in with him to make sure that he is still interested in you. You may find that you get angry when he spends time with his friends or family because it takes away from the time you get to spend with him. All of your free time is spent trying to find a way to be alone together so you never have enough time for yourself.
You may become insecure and jealous easily
When you are in a relationship with someone unavailable, you tend to become insecure and jealous very easily. You may find yourself constantly wondering if he is cheating on you or if he is interested in someone else.
You may start questioning every interaction that he has with other women and trying to read into their conversations. You may even follow him when he is out with his friends and she is nowhere in sight so you can relax and be yourself.
You may become physically sick
Being the other woman can be physically exhausting because it takes a lot of effort to hide your relationship from everyone. When you live a double life, you never know when someone will find out or walk into that restaurant or coffee shop where you and your significant other are meeting, so you never get a break.
Being constantly on edge can take a toll on your body. It may be difficult to keep up with the demands of home, work, and school as well as having to spend time with him. You may find yourself getting sick often or not being able to perform the tasks that you usually do with ease.
You may feel like you are living a nightmare
The psychological effects of being the other woman can be devastating. You may feel like you are living in a nightmare where you can never escape. You may feel like you are going crazy because of all the lies that you have to tell.
You may feel trapped in a situation where you have to choose between being with him and staying loyal to your morals. You try to convince yourself that your feelings are real and he feels the same way, but in reality, he is just using you until something better comes along.
You might have trust issues as a result of your history
Being the other woman can cause you to have trust issues in your future relationships. You may find it difficult to trust anyone because you have been hurt so many times. You may not be able to open up to people easily because you are afraid that they will leave you as he did.
You may find yourself constantly looking for signs that someone is cheating on you. You may be paranoid that your new partner is talking to other women behind your back. All of these trust issues can be a result of being the other woman in a relationship.
It’s hard to maintain healthy relationships with others
It can be difficult to maintain healthy relationships with others when you are always focused on your relationship with the married or unavailable man. You may find that your friends and family are frustrated with you because you are always canceling on them or not making time for them.
You may find that you are no longer interested in the things that you used to enjoy and that you have lost touch with the people who care about you. All of your time and energy is focused on the man that you are not supposed to be with, so you have nothing left for anyone else.
How Do You Deal With Being The Other Woman?
Don’t beat yourself up over it
One of the most important steps is to forgive yourself for not putting a stop to it before things went too far. Don’t beat yourself up over what you could have done or should have said.
You also need to accept that it happened and now you must deal with the consequences. Just like there are many negative effects of being the other woman, there are also many positives that come along with it.
Take a break from social media
The easiest way to avoid all of the negative emotions that come along with being the other woman is to take a break from social media. Delete your Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts for a while so you don’t have to worry about seeing pictures of him and her together or reading comments from people who know what is going on.
Talk to someone about it
It can be really helpful to talk to someone about your experiences as the other woman. It can be difficult to process everything on your own, so talking to a friend or therapist may be the best option for you. They can help you to work through the emotions that you are feeling and give you some insight on how to move forward.
Seek professional assistance
In extreme cases, you may need to seek professional assistance from a therapist or counselor. You should never feel embarrassed about going to see a mental health professional if you are experiencing a crisis. They can help you to process all of the emotions that you are feeling and give you the support that nobody else in your life is currently able to offer.
Shift the attention from him to yourself
It can be easy to get caught up in thinking about all of the time that you have wasted on him and all of the negative things that have come from being with him. However, it is important to shift the attention from him to yourself.
You may have been so focused on your feelings for him and his feelings for you that you didn’t take the time to focus on your own needs. What do you want in life? What makes you happy? What are your goals?
Take some time to reflect on these things and start writing down a plan for yourself. You need to be the one that is in control of your life, not him.
Embrace the positives
Despite all of the negative things that come with being the other woman, there are also some positives. You may have a stronger sense of self-awareness than ever before and you may be more confident in your ability to make better choices.
You may find that you are more forgiving and that you don’t take things personally as easily. You will also likely have a better understanding of relationships and what you want and don’t want in a relationship.
Move on
The most important thing is to move on with your life. You cannot change the past, so there is no point in dwelling on it. Start making plans for yourself and focus on the future. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to find a healthy relationship.
Look for genuine love
As you continue to work through the emotions and consequences of being the other woman, one thing becomes abundantly clear. Genuine love is much better than any short-lived fling that you could have with a married man.
You may need to take some time and be single for a while so you can focus on yourself and your own needs, but eventually, you should start looking for a relationship that is based on genuine love and lasting friendship. You deserve to be happy!
Recognize the cheating person’s intention/frame of mind
To prevent yourself from getting into this situation again, it is important to recognize the cheating person’s intention/frame of mind.
They are not looking for a genuine relationship; they are looking for a way to satisfy their own needs without any strings attached. They will likely never leave their partner and they are not interested in anything more than a physical relationship.
Reevaluate the situation when you are clear-headed
Now that you have had some time to process what has happened, evaluate the situation when you are calm and clear-headed. Ask yourself why he is still with his girlfriend or wife?
It can be difficult to admit that someone else likes you and they do not want to end their current relationship, but it is important, to be honest with yourself. If you are not able to have a healthy relationship with someone who is still in a committed relationship, then it is best to walk away.
All requests should be respected to protect their families and close friends
Regardless of his intentions, you should not have a physical relationship with any married man. It may seem unfair to deny yourself the chance at love and sex, but you need to respect their wishes for them to be able to protect their families and close friends.
Make an effort to talk to the person and decide whether or not he should come clean
If you are considering talking to the man’s wife or girlfriend, make sure that you have a solid plan in place first. You need to be prepared for the possible consequences and you need to be 100% sure that he is worth the risk.
You should also consider how it will impact his family and friends. Ultimately, this is a decision that he needs to make, not you.
Don’t let your friends or family know that you’re involved with a married man
You should never allow anyone to pressure you into sharing personal information about your private life. The only person who should know is the one who is in a serious relationship with you and they will respect your privacy.
Conclusion
Remember that being the other woman is not an ideal situation and you cannot change the past, but it is important to learn from your mistakes. To protect yourself in the future, start looking for love in a genuine relationship rather than continuing to pursue a man who already has a committed partner.
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