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One of the most common questions we get asked is “how many dates until I can ask to be his girlfriend?” Though this question may come in many forms, its meaning is always the same. The person asking this wants to know how long he or she should wait before asking their significant other if they would like to take their relationship to the next level.
Unfortunately, there is no hard and fast answer that will work for everyone. Each situation and person is different and therefore will require a different “strategy” for getting what you want/need from it.
How Many Dates Before Asking to be Girlfriend: What to Consider
As we mentioned before, every relationship is different and therefore will require a different plan of attack. Here are some things you should consider when thinking about how many dates before asking to be girlfriend:
1. How long have the two of you been dating?
2. How familiar with each other are both parties? Has one of you gotten to know the other on a deeper level?
3. Have either of you met your significant others family or friends (especially their parents)?
4. How long has the relationship been established? The longer it has been, the more certain both parties will be about each other and how comfortable they are with each other.
5. How comfortable are both parties with the relationship? Do they seem content to be where they are or do they appear to want something more?
6. How honest have you been with each other on a consistent basis? Have there been any secrets kept from one another? If so, how adverse will it be if those secrets were revealed down the road?
7. How long do you want to wait? If neither party is ready/willing to take the relationship to that level, then it would be wise for them not to engage in it.
8. Is there anything standing between now and your “ideal” time (ie: exams, projects)? If so, how important are they and how much time do you have?
9. Are you in a rush or do you not mind waiting for the perfect time to ask to be his girlfriend? If the latter, then there will be no need for a timetable and one should just wait it out. However, if you are looking to ask him soon, then it seems fitting to use some sort of plan.
As you can see, there are many considerations one must make when contemplating how many dates before asking to be his girlfriend. Since every relationship is different and since each person in that relationship will have their own specific needs, the timing for asking your significant other to be your girlfriend will vary.
But, this doesn’t mean you should wait forever! Instead, we suggest that you ask yourself the following questions:
1. How do I feel about the relationship? Are things getting better or worse? Have there been any major changes recently? If so, how have they affected my feelings toward the relationship?
2. How long do I see this going? Are we on a path for something more or is the end in sight and I am just waiting it out?
3. Is there anything else that can be done (or changed) to make me happy with where we are now? If yes, then attempt those changes. If no, then do not ask to be his girlfriend.
4. Am I prepared for the consequences of my actions? If you are asking him out of guilt because you think he wants more than you can give or if you just don’t feel right about where things stand now, then it is probably best that you avoid saying those three little words.
5. Do I want to be happy with the relationship? If you are willing/ready to take things to the next level, then it is acceptable to ask him out. If not, then that would be a bad time for asking him out on a date let alone making that confession!
6. Am I prepared for the response?
How Many Dates Is Enough Before A Relationship Becomes Exclusive?
The first date is the most nerve-wracking. You are getting to know someone for the first time, you are hoping that they like you as much as you like them, and it’s usually at this point where you’re either going to find out whether or not there’s something between you two worth pursuing further. Those initial dates can be difficult to figure out. What do you ask? How much can you learn about someone after just one date? When is it appropriate to exchange phone numbers and plan the next time that you’re going to hang out with each other again?
What we’ve noticed on our end of things is that some speed daters prefer not to over-examine everything. They want to get to know the person that they’re speaking with, and don’t want it to feel like a job interview or even a psychiatric appointment. In other words, they want to make sure that their date is comfortable, but at the same time they do have things that they do wish to learn about the person in front of them.
How Many Dates Until You’re ‘Dating’ A Person?
The answer to the question “at what point does a date become a ‘date’? is going to be vastly different for everyone. Some people have no qualms with meeting up in order to get something to eat or even walk around town, whereas other people might think that only ‘dates’ are meetings were both parties know what they’re there for.
Intention plays a large part in this answer as well, so the question becomes “how long do I have to wait until I ask him out?” You both know what you’re up to and there’s no harm done. If that’s not something that works for you; if you don’t want to take things slow, then when is it appropriate to ask him if he’d like to be your boyfriend?
Why Time Between Dates Is Also Important
If you’re playing it safe and not ready to take things past a certain point, then you might want to stick to the rule of thumb that states the limit is three dates. If it doesn’t seem like there’s going to be something between you two that allows for more than just casual dating, then after three dates would be best if you called things off.
If, on the other hand, you both do agree to allow things to keep going and you don’t want him dragging his heels, then a good rule of thumb is to wait until after the fifth date before asking him if he wants to be your boyfriend or not. It’s not that you wouldn’t ask him before the fifth date, or even before the seventh so much as it’s about making sure that you’ve given yourself enough time to see what things are like between the two of you.
The Difference Between ‘Exclusive’ And ‘Official’
Just because you’ve gone on dates together doesn’t mean that you’re already boyfriend and girlfriend. It also doesn’t mean that it’s okay to be asking him out or showing public displays of affection. You may have noticed the difference between being ‘exclusive’ and being ‘official’. If you are exclusive, then it means that neither party has anyone else that they’re seeing, but not everyone is comfortable with the idea of being in an ‘official’ relationship.
You might agree to be exclusive, or you might just use it as a way to describe what’s going on between you two without getting into semantics. If he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend after five dates, then there’s a good chance that he’s in agreement with you on this point.
In other words, if you have been dating for the right amount of time and still haven’t been asked to be his girlfriend, then it’s probably safe to assume that he isn’t interested in being your boyfriend either. Don’t worry about taking things too fast or not taking things fast enough. If it’s meant to be, then he’ll want to call you his girlfriend before too much more time has passed.
How Many Dates Before Your First Kiss?
The answer to this question is not an easy one to give. There are things like chemistry and enough of a connection between the two of you that would make it more likely for him to want to kiss you on the first date, but just because he doesn’t try it by then doesn’t mean that he never will. Your best bet is to wait until the end of the fourth date to ask him what he thinks about kissing.
If you’ve kissed and still haven’t been asked out, then it’s probably safe to assume that nothing is going to happen in the near future. It could mean a few things from being shy or just not finding himself attracted to you in that way.
How Many Dates Before Becoming intimate?
Asking a girl to be your girlfriend after you have been on numerous dates may seem like the right thing. After all, it is enough time for both of you to know each other closely and decide if you want to move forward in this relationship. However, there’s no particular timeframe for when intimacy starts or when relationships occur. It can happen after a few dates or it can happen after several years. It all depends on the individuals and their feelings for each other.
FAQs About Number Of Dates Before Asking Her to Be Your Girlfirend
1. How long should you wait before asking someone out?
– There is no set amount of time in which you have to wait in order to ask someone out. The best thing you can do when considering whether or not to ask someone out is to think about your feelings for them and how they may or may not feel about you. If you feel like they may want to go out with you, then ask them out. If not, don’t put yourself in an uncomfortable situation by asking someone who is unsure if they like you or not.
2. When should I ask her to be my girlfriend?
– There’s no real right time because every relationship happens differently. However, if you feel that the time is right to ask the other person, then do it. Just make sure that you’re both on the same page and are ready to commit to each other before becoming boyfriend/girlfriend.
3. How do I ask someone out?
– There are multiple different ways you can go about asking someone out. You can take them out to dinner, for coffee, go to the movies, etc. Just make sure that you’re both comfortable with where you’re going and what you’re doing because it’s not a good idea to ask someone out and then do something they aren’t okay with or don’t like to do.
4. When should I tell people we’re a couple?
– This also varies depending on the people in question. If you feel that it’s too early in your relationship to declare yourselves a couple, then don’t tell anyone yet. Now if you and this person have been together for months or years, then by all means start telling people about how awesome they are. Just be sure that you both are on the same page about it.
5. How do I handle the first fight?
– The first fight is always the hardest, but don’t let it get to you. It’s normal for couples to fight and disagree with each other at times, especially when they’re new or haven’t really experienced a relationship before. Just make sure that you both talk about the problem and schedule a time to do something together as soon as you can to re-connect with each other.
6. What if they don’t want to be my girlfriend?
– If someone rejects your offer of being your girlfriend, it’s okay. It just means that they’re not ready for a relationship and may need more time to get to know you better before they move forward in the relationship. Don’t let this discourage or change your feelings about them, because if they’re someone that you like and want to be with, it’ll happen eventually.
Conclusion
The length of time you should wait before asking someone to be your girlfriend, or the amount of dates you should go on varies from person to person. It’s good to ask yourself questions about the other person and how you feel towards them in order to determine if they’re ready for a relationship with you. Ask them out and then go from there. Just make sure that you’re both on the same page about it and know what to do if things don’t work out as planned.
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