We all know that one family member makes us feel like we are always doing something wrong. The mother-in-law is probably the most challenging family relationship to maintain because of her connection with your husband. If you have a great relationship with your mother-in-law, then count yourself lucky! Unfortunately, if you don’t have that kind of relationship, it can be very stressful to deal with.
There are a few things that you can do to improve your relationship regardless. Remember always to try and see things from the other person’s point of view. For example, if your mother-in-law does something that annoys you, remember that she probably has good intentions tucked behind that action, and when in doubt, give her the benefit of the doubt.
Always try to keep things in perspective, because sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our concerns and problems with our mother-in-law’s behavior that we completely miss the forest for the trees!
Signs Your Mother in Law Doesn’t Like You
Takes Every Opportunity to Humiliate You Publicly
A mother-in-law who likes you will never make snide remarks about your clothes, weight, lifestyle choices, or anything else for that matter. She may comment on things from time to time, but it should be done in a polite and understanding manner when she does. If your mother-in-law is constantly making rude comments about the way you look, your family, or your choices in life, then she doesn’t like you very much.
Ridicules Your Family and Friends
Your mother-in-law should always respect the people who are important to you. No matter her opinion of them, she should never take this out on you. If she constantly derides how your friends and family look and sound, then this is a sign that she doesn’t like you.
Ignores You or Snubs You
Your mother-in-law should always treat you with respect. If, however, she makes an effort to avoid spending time with you, either by skipping family gatherings or ignoring your request for a visit, there’s a strong chance that she doesn’t like you.
Judges You for Little Things
You should never feel the need to apologize for being yourself, especially not to your mother-in-law. If she constantly makes little digs or passive-aggressive comments about your behavior then there’s a good chance that she doesn’t respect you as a person and therefore doesn’t like you as a person.
Criticizes Your Marriage Choices
If you feel that your mother-in-law isn’t happy with the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with, then this is a sure sign that she doesn’t like you or approve of your husband. Remember, she needs to respect the man and the woman that her son has chosen.
Threatens You or Your Marriage
Your mother-in-law should never threaten you, your life together, or any other aspect of your relationship. If she makes any remarks about what could happen if you don’t do as she says, then there’s a good chance this is not the type of relationship you are looking for.
Shows Disrespect to Your Traditions and Values
Your family is vital to you, as is your partner! If your mother-in-law doesn’t respect the life you have built with him, this could signify deeper problems within the relationship.
Is Always Trying to Change You
Everyone has their way of doing things, and your mother-in-law should respect that. If she makes an effort to change how you live your life, then this is a sure sign that she doesn’t like you.
She Snubs Your Invites or Gifts
A mother-in-law should always accept your invitations and be grateful for any gifts you give her. If she doesn’t ever invite you to anything or thank you when you give her a present, then this is a sign that she doesn’t like you at all (or that she may be insulting and ungrateful).
Doesn’t Care About Your Career or Personal Life
Your personal life is a big part of who you are, and if your mother-in-law doesn’t take an interest in either, this could be a terrible sign. A good mother-in-law should want to know all about what’s going on with you, as well as offer advice and guidance where appropriate.
Loses Her Temper a Lot
Is Always Judging You
Your mother-in-law should always make you feel welcome and comfortable, even if her house isn’t quite what you’re used to. If she constantly judges how your home looks or comments about what you should be doing, then it’s clear that she doesn’t like you very much.
Doesn’t Make Time for You
If your mother in law doesn’t make time for you when she comes to visit, either because it’s always you who organizes to see her or because she never asks you in the first place, then this is a sign that she may be trying to avoid spending time with you.
She Tells You What to Do
Your mother-in-law should never tell you what to do; after all, it’s your life, not hers! If she constantly makes you feel you are wrong or tries to interfere with what you are doing, then this will always make her someone who doesn’t like you.
You are Always Left Out of Family Activities
Family is very important, and if your mother-in-law doesn’t offer to include you, this could be a big problem. If she never invites you to family events or gatherings, she may simply not like you enough; remember that they are your family too!
Brings up Your Past Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but your mother-in-law shouldn’t ever bring them up. If she does, this could be a sign that she doesn’t like you and punishes you for what happened in the past.
She Gossips About You
If your mother-in-law always seems to have something negative to say about you when she has other people around, then this is a sign that she doesn’t like you very much. After all, if she has nothing nice to say about you to your face, what does she say behind your back?
No Photos of You and Your Spouse in Her Home
Your mother-in-law should always have a photo of the two of you somewhere where she can see it, especially if others are around. This is a sign that she doesn’t like you as even your stepchildren will be able to see this!
Undermines Your Parenting Decisions
How you choose to raise your children is no business of your mother-in-law, and if she undermines your decisions, this may be a sign that she doesn’t like you. Remember that this is YOUR life, and you get to make the decisions!
She Belittles Your Opinions
Your mother-in-law should always respect what you have to say; after all, you are the person who is closest to your spouse. If she continues to belittle your opinions, this could be a sign that she doesn’t like you very much.
She Finds Fault With You
A perfect mother-in-law should encourage her children (and their spouses) and never want to find fault with them. If your mother-in-law is constantly finding fault with you or criticizing everything you do, then this could be a sign that she doesn’t like you very much.
She Tries to Change Your Spouse
Your partner should love you for who you are, not the person their mother wants them to be. If your mother-in-law continues to try and change who you are or how you think, then this will always be a sign that she doesn’t like you very much at all.
She Doesn’t Appreciate You
A good mother-in-law should always appreciate what her children have done by raising a good spouse, even if they are not perfect! If your mother-in-law doesn’t appreciate you, this could be a sign that she doesn’t like you very much.
She Doesn’t Understand You
If your mother-in-law constantly tells everyone how different you are from everyone or that she can’t understand why her son married you, this could be a sign that she doesn’t like you very much. Remember, your family should love you for who you are!
How to Improve Relationship With Your Mother In Law
Family gatherings are always likely to be awkward until you have got off on the right foot with your partner’s mother. If she doesn’t like you, it can leave you feeling very uncomfortable, but remember that every family is different!
If your mother-in-law has these typical signs of not liking you, then a few things may help.
Firstly, try to get involved where you can. There may be a family event that she is organizing that you could help out with, or it might be a good idea to offer your assistance at other times.
Another thing that you could do is to visit them on a separate occasion and take some flowers along as a gift. This will make you seem like a much nicer person in their eyes and may make them see you in a new light!
Finally, never take it personally if they insult you. Remember that every family is different, and we all have arguments from time to time, so try not to get too upset by what she says.
If your mother-in-law does any of these things, she may not like you very much. Remember, though, that just because she doesn’t like you doesn’t mean that you can’t have a good relationship with her – it’s just going to be hard!