Can a Pathological Liar Love Someone

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Can a Pathological Liar Love Someone

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What is a Pathological Liar? 

A pathological liar is a person who tells lies regularly, to the point where it becomes second nature. Such a person also has little control over his lying and sometimes even believes in their lies. Pathological liars can hurt relationships by being truthful with friends, family members, and partners.

Can a Pathological Liar Love Someone

Can a Pathological Liar Love Someone? 

It is possible for pathological liars to love someone, but they will have some problems in their relationships. This is because the person who suffers from pathological lying may find it difficult to control their compulsion to tell lies, and truth-tellers might not trust them enough. The following points talk about the relationship between pathological liar and their partner.

Problems with Trust 

The pathological liar may find it difficult to control his need to tell lies, making it challenging for his partner to trust him. The person has little control over which lie they tell, making it even harder for the other person to believe the truth.

Irresponsible Behavior 

A pathological liar can be irresponsible when it comes to relationships because they have no control over his compulsions. They may also be unfaithful in their relationships without trying to stop themselves from doing so. Therefore, the person in a relationship with such a partner might have trust issues.

Not Ready for Commitment 

Pathological liars are always concerned about themselves even though they may appear to be caring. These people are not ready to commit themselves to anyone, making it challenging for other partners to have a stable relationship. Even if the lying is under control, pathological liars are not ready to put their best foot forward in a relationship. This is probably because they do not have faith in relationships.

Not Able to Care 

Lying gives pathological liars a sense of power and control, which means that they might not be able to care about someone else’s needs. They lack empathy and cannot put themselves in the other person’s shoes. This might make it difficult for their other half to feel loved by them, at times even when they are telling the truth.

Outbursts of Anger 

When pathological liars get caught by their partners after having lied to them, they tend to have outbursts of anger. They either become defensive or attack their partners with harsh words, resulting in a lot of damage to the relationship. This is because they have no coping mechanism for anger management and may even resort to physical abuse if their partner tries to confront them about anything that bothers him or them.

Need for Constant Attention 

Pathological liars like to make themselves the center of attraction in a relationship which can cause problems for their partners. Although they might appear to be caring from the outside, inside, they are incapable of caring about other people’s needs and only consider what makes them happy.

Secrets 

Secrets that pathological liars keep from their partners can result in many problems for their relationships as they can’t prioritize their partners over themselves.

Relationship Difficulties 

Pathological liars will have relationship difficulties if they continue lying to those around them without controlling it. If you love someone who suffers from this disorder, you must guide them towards getting professional help. With patience and love, you can help a person deal with their problem and start enjoying a healthy life like everyone else.

Signs Of A Pathological Liar 

There are different types of pathological liars, but the common signs are that they are either compulsive or aggressive, which can cause problems for their partners.

Speaking in vague or general terms 

A pathological liar will always speak in vague or general terms, making it difficult for their partners to understand them.

When speaking about something, they are always vague, making it tough for their partners to figure out what they are saying, even if the statement is not a lie. They might give their partner an unclear picture of what they are talking about, making it difficult for them to believe anything they say.

Being overly specific or detailed 

On the other hand, compulsive pathological liars will be overly specific or detailed, making their partners feel they cannot trust anything they say.

Tendency to lie 

When it comes to being dishonest with their closest ones, pathological liars have no qualm about lying because it makes them feel good. They may lie for various reasons, such as to avoid getting caught for something wrong by their partners or just for fun.

They can maintain one story but switch between different stories regularly so that their partners never know what is true and what is not anymore. If you catch your partner telling lies regularly, you must understand that they might be suffering from this disorder.

Telling little white lies 

Pathological liars will also tell little white lies if they need to present an image of themselves that does not match their real personality. These are very hard to understand for their partners because of the contrast between the statements being made and the behavior being seen.

When pathological liars try to get something from their partners, they suppress any guilt about asking for it by telling little white lies or ignoring it together. 

Inconsistencies in stories 

If you listen to the stories told by pathological liars, you will notice that they often have inconsistencies in their statements. These are because their story might contain lies and some truths, making it confusing for their partners to understand what is real and what is not.

When pathological liars tell their stories, they exaggerate certain parts of it, adding drama to find them more interesting than they are. Their partners may find these stories too difficult to believe because occasionally telling lies or making false statements does seem like something out of this world. 

Doing things just for attention 

Pathological liars crave attention from those around them, but since they don’t get enough love and appreciation, they are left with no option but to lie. Their partners should understand that they are not trying to manipulate them by doing things just for attention, but they need to be loved and cared about to change their habits.

An example would be someone saying, “Why is my head hurting today?” when they did not have a headache at all. Again, pathological liars will give their partners an unclear picture of the real problem by telling stories that do not make sense to get more attention. 

Always craving for an excuse 

When it comes to being dishonest with their closest ones, pathological liars have no qualm about lying because it makes them feel good. They may lie for various reasons, such as to avoid getting caught for something bad by their partners or just for fun.

Their partners should understand that pathological liars are not trying to manipulate them by doing things just for attention, but they need to be loved and cared about so that their habit can change.

Failure to commit to plans or often canceling plans 

If you are in a relationship with a pathological liar, then you probably know that your partner is not much of a planner and may often cancel plans at the last minute. This is because they do not feel like doing anything much, and when they do want to go out or attend an event, it takes them so long to decide that by the time they finally get ready to go, it’s already too late for them.

They will talk about how excited they were for something planned but failed to show up on time, thus disappointing everyone. They might even come up with stories that explain why they missed their appointments from time to time, making sure that their partners always have an image of someone who cannot be trusted.

How do you end a pathological liar relationship

Becoming angry and defensive when questioned 

When pathological liars are caught lying, they become angry and defensive as though it is their partner’s fault for catching them, which results in a fight. If the questions being thrown at them are too personal or challenging, then they might shut down completely, refusing to talk about the topic again.

Their partners should understand that this behavior is not intentional and pathological liars just become very stressed out when faced with this kind of situation. They may even take a long time to open up about what is going on in their minds because they do not want to stress anyone else out.  

How to Deal With a Pathological Liar

Educate Yourself About Pathological Liars

Before you can help a pathological liar, you must understand the problem. If you do not know what you’re dealing with, then any solution that you think of will be guesswork and will only complicate the situation further.

As much as possible, avoid confronting your pathological liar partner without understanding them because this may lead to fights which could eventually cause permanent damage to your relationship

Agree to Disagree on Some Things When You Catch Someone Lying

If their lies disrupt how things function in your house or make life difficult for everyone involved, confront them by telling them that while lying is wrong, sometimes people do not want others around them knowing all of the personal details of their lives. They may appreciate this excuse and even agree not to lie about certain things again.

They will still need someone to trust, though, so try to understand them too without looking down on them or judging because the last thing you want is their anger level to increase, which can even lead to physical abuse.  

Use a Reward System When Possible

If you’re unable to confront your pathological liar partner and their lies disrupt how things function in your house, then maybe a reward system will work better. This is especially true if the situation involves children who sometimes do things just for attention. A reward system operates along the lines of giving something as an incentive when they do something good.

Of course, it has to be a gift they like; otherwise, this will not work. As your child is interacting with you, keep an eye on whether or not they are lying, and when they do tell the truth, reward them right away with something small and easy to obtain, such as a piece of candy. 

Seek Therapy

If all else fails and if your pathological liar partner continues to lie about things even after you’ve sought therapy together, then maybe you need to think about making some changes for yourself. Try dating someone new or staying in contact with old friends to get over the relationship becomes easier for you because no one deserves to be mistreated by someone who lies all the time.  

What To Do If You Are In A Relationship With A Pathological Type Liar

If you are in a relationship with someone who tends to lie, you must learn how to deal with them. The best thing that you can do is trust them and keep an eye on what they’re doing at all times. Don’t confront them or become angry about their lies; instead, try to help by reinforcing their positive behavior so they can easily associate lying as bad.

When pathological liars are caught lying, they become angry and defensive as though it is their partner’s fault for seeing them, which results in a fight. If the questions being thrown at them are too personal or challenging, then they might shut down completely, refusing to talk about the topic again.

Their partners should understand that this will not be an easy thing to deal with and that it will take time for them to trust each other again.

They should also recognize lying signs, such as avoiding eye contact, mumbling, or changing the topic. No one expects a pathological liar to turn into a saint overnight, but if this is what you want, you have to let them know from the start to adjust themselves accordingly.

If all else fails, maybe your partner cannot change because they are aware of their lies and do not want help, which is why they lie in the first place. In this case, it may be better if you leave them alone even though it will be hard because being involved with anyone who tends to lie is not easy at all.

Frequently Asked Questions 

What are some helpful tips for dealing with someone who lies all the time?

The best thing that you can do is trust them and keep an eye on what they’re doing at all times. Don’t confront them or become angry about their lies; instead, try to help by reinforcing their positive behavior so they can easily associate lying with being imperfect.

Can you lie to someone you love?

As long as it is for the greater good, you can lie to someone you love because this does not mean that you are being disrespectful. For example, if your friend asks you whether his new haircut looks nice, tell him that he looks fabulous even if you think otherwise so he will feel better about himself.

How do pathological liars react when they are caught lying?

When pathological liars are caught lying, they become angry and defensive as though it is their partner’s fault for seeing them, which results in a fight. If the questions being thrown at them are too personal or challenging, then they might shut down completely, refusing to talk about the topic again.

How do you trust again after being lied to?

One of the best ways to trust again after being lied to is by slowly building a new relationship with this person and familiarizing yourself with their history. If they have a history of lying, your gut instinct may tell you that they are up to no good, but if they can prove themselves trustworthy, try giving them a chance.

Conclusion 

Falling for someone who tends to lie is not easy, but it can be done if you stay guarded and on your toes. If they cannot change or are unwilling to help themselves, then that’s when you should cut them loose because being in a relationship with someone who lies all the time will never end well for either of you.

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