You’ve probably wondered at some point in your life why someone would pretend to love you. I mean, is there a reason for it? Most of the time, when we meet people who pretend they love us, it’s only because they want something from us. Then again, a few people out there do care about you… That’s why it’s important to be on the lookout for signs someone is pretending they love you.
Why Would Someone Pretend to Love You
He wants you but doesn’t need you
People who pretend to love you seek your company, but they are not needy. If he’s nice but seems distant, he sometimes wants you on his side but doesn’t need you.
He doesn’t care about offending you
A person who pretends to love you doesn’t need to please you and doesn’t care about offending you. He will say whatever he wants without thinking twice if it will upset you.
He hasn’t discovered his purpose in life
Sometimes people pretend to love us because they don’t know their purpose in life. They go from one person to another looking for something or someone who can show them the way, and when they find it, they will move on with no regret.
He doesn’t like you but he likes your stuff
A guy who is insincere when he loves you is only interested in your stuff, money, or what you can give him. He will even pretend to love you for a while if it means he gets an expensive watch out of the deal, at least until he falls in love with someone else.
To prove a point to himself
Some people pretend to love you because they don’t believe they can fall in love, and they think that the only way to prove it to themselves is by pretending to be someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend.
If he’s too clingy and jealous
If a guy is overly clingy and jealous of your time, attention, and friends, it means he doesn’t love you. He might be envious of them because he’s not sure if you’re the right girl for him. It’s just a way to test your loyalty and affection towards him to see how committed you are before he decides if he likes you or not.
If it feels too good to be true
People who pretend to love you and put on a great show of it only do so because you seem like the perfect girl for them. The moment they think someone better comes along, they will move on deep down inside their hearts. They know what they are doing is wrong, but they can’t stop themselves.
To prove a point to others
When someone pretends to love you, it means he is too insecure about himself. He usually seeks attention and validation from other people to make him feel like the only person in the world who matters.
Because they can’t hurt you
People who pretend to love you are avoiding rejection at all costs. They will go out of their way to never hurt you because they know that if they do, the only thing left for them to do is move on. It’s sad but true.
He enjoys control
Someone who pretends to love you will usually see it as a game. He enjoys keeping other people under his control to feel powerful and influential at times.
When someone pretends to love you, it means he wants to brag about how well he can get along with you even though deep down inside, he only cares about his feelings and not yours.
They don’t want a serious relationship
Pretending to love you might be a way for someone who doesn’t want a relationship to try it out without the emotional risk. If he eventually falls in love with someone else, he will say goodbye to you at once and move on happily without looking back.
They just want sex
People who pretend they love you usually only see you as an easy target for their sexual pleasure. You are nothing but a toy to them, but when they’re done with you, they’ll throw you away like a piece of garbage.
He wants children
Some guys are only pretending to love you because they want children. If you don’t want kids or if he doesn’t have the patience to wait for them, watch out because you’re about to get hurt.
He’s afraid of intimacy
This one is unfortunate but true. Pretending to love you means that a guy is so afraid of intimacy that he’ll go out his way to avoid it at all costs. He will fall in love with you, but only because he feels like there’s no other way for him since you’re the only one who showed him the path towards real love and affection.
If someone is pretending to love you, it means that he feels hurt by you somehow. Maybe he lost out on something great because of his own bad choices, or perhaps you just rubbed him the wrong way with your words.
He’s about to leave
One of the most common reasons people pretend to love you is that they are about to leave. They are trying to make you feel special because they don’t want you to worry when the time finally comes for them to say goodbye forever.
Societal responsibility stereotype
A few people pretend to love you because they feel like it’s their obligation. They don’t want to face the consequences of letting you down and breaking your heart by saying goodbye, so they will say that they love you even if deep down inside they know it’s not true.
Get back at his Ex
When someone pretends to love you, it means he is still trying to get back at his ex. He’s not ready for a new relationship, so he will try to make things work with the first girl who comes along by smiling, being sweet, and saying that she loves him too.
Out of pity
Sometimes people pretend they love you because they feel sorry for you. You might be going through a tough time, or maybe their desire to help you outweighs the consequences of getting closer to you and making you fall in love with them.
One of the most common reasons people pretend to love someone is because they want to get married and have a family. They don’t mind being with you forever, but only if it’s in marriage or a committed relationship.
He doesn’t know how to say no
If you ask somebody if he loves you and he answers ‘yes,’ there’s a good chance he only said it because he thinks it’s what you wanted to hear. He doesn’t know how to say no, so instead of struggling with the words, he’ll pretend that he genuinely loves you.
A few people pretend to love you because their career depends on it. If they want you to help them become famous, for example, he will say the “I love you’s” and hook up with you.
Signs that Prove Someone is Pretending to Love You
They talk about their failed relationships
One of the most common signs that someone pretends to love you is when he brings up his failed relationships. If he keeps eulogizing about how great things were in the past, it means that he’s using you as a rebound and that he isn’t ready for a new relationship.
They say they are too busy for you
Another sign that someone is pretending to love you is when they expose that they are too busy for you. If he fails to make time during weekends or holidays, or if his schedule gets changed overnight because of work, the chances are high that he’s spending less time with you so he can pretend to be in love with you instead.
They want you to prove your faithfulness and commitment every time
Do you feel as if your partner is constantly testing your loyalty? When someone pretends to love you, they try to watch you always. They may even send a friend or relative to follow you now and then. Even though this is an indirect way of spying on you, it’s enough for them to gain further control over your life.
They don’t have any friends
If you feel your partner doesn’t have a single friend, it’s a sign that he isn’t interested in a real relationship. This may seem strange, but people who pretend to love you can be so obsessed with themselves that they have no time for anyone else. He might not have a single friend because he constantly uses you to satisfy his own needs.
They deliberately try to make you jealous
One of the most common signs that someone pretends to love you is when they intentionally want to make you jealous. They may try hiding their flirting or ignore your calls all of a sudden so that eventually, you will be forced to confront them. If they succeed, you might become so angry that you forget all about the fact that they are pretending to love you for their own selfish needs.
They make decisions without your consent
When someone pretends to love you, he may go behind your back and take matters into his own hands. He doesn’t even consult you because he knows that doing so would reveal his plans. Even though this makes you feel less important in the relationship, it’s a sign that he is using you for purposes other than love.
They expect too much from you
If someone is pretending to love you, there is a good chance that they may be expecting more from you than you can offer. He may expect your full support 24/7 or go as far as asking you to give up on your family and friends for him. If he expects too much from you within a brief period after meeting you, it’s an indication that he is pretending to be in love with you so he can use you for his own selfish needs.
They keep asking you about your plans
Another sign that someone pretends to love you is when they ask too many questions about your plans. If he keeps interrogating you with the same question over and over again, it’s because he wants to know what your life would be like if things don’t work out between the two of you.
They try to control your behavior
People who are pretending to love you can be very aggressive. If they resort to insults, nagging, or yelling at you, then the chances are high that they don’t view you as an equal partner in the relationship. You should expect them to become more controlling over time because they want to get as much from you as possible before their feelings wear off.
They don’t feel guilty about lying to you
Lying is a common sign that someone pretends to love you, especially if they try hard not to look guilty when they do it. If your partner is always trying to convince you that the lies he has told you are the truth, it’s a sign that he is using you for his own selfish needs.
They keep asking about your exes
One of the most obvious signs that someone pretends to love you is when they constantly interrogate you about your past relationships. If they ask questions like ‘Who was he?’ or ‘Why did you break up?’, it’s because they want to know what kind of men you have dated in the past.
They show no interest in your family or friends
If someone is pretending to love you, they don’t care about the important things to you. If they aren’t interested in your family members or your closest friends, then it means they are only interested in you because you are important to them. These people don’t care about your feelings because their deepest desire is to hurt you in ways that human eyes can’t see.
He wants to keep you/the relationship a secret
If you notice that your partner is trying to keep your relationship secret, then it may be because he wants to keep his options open. If he fails to introduce you to his friends and family, it’s because he knows they would immediately realize that something is wrong with the two of you.
You are not sure of your place in his life
People who pretend to love you are constantly lying about their intentions. If you find yourself wondering where the two of you stand in each other’s lives, then it means that your partner is probably trying to hide something from you.
He doesn’t seem interested in taking things further
If your partner tries to keep a certain distance between the two of you, it’s a sign that he is pretending to love you. If he doesn’t seem interested in taking things further and keeping the relationship exclusive, then there is a good chance that he might be using you for something more important than love.
He tries hard not to get caught
People who pretend to love you always find ways of getting away with their lies. If your partner is very good at hiding his tracks, it’s because he doesn’t want you to find out that he is only using you to get something that will benefit him in the long run.
He cares more about physical intimacy than emotional intimacy
If your partner is only interested in having sex with you, it’s a sign that he pretends to love you. People who pretend to love others focus on the physical aspect of the relationship while downplaying its emotional elements.
He wants to know things about you before meeting you
Before any man begins to fall in love with a woman, he always wants to learn as much about her as possible. If your partner seems overly interested in learning things about you without meeting you in person, then it means that he is pretending to love you so that he can use you when necessary.
Your family and friends don’t like him
If your family members and friends don’t like your partner, then it doesn’t mean that the two of you should break up. However, you need to find out if their dislike has anything to do with realizing he is only pretending to love you for selfish reasons.
What to Do When You Realize He’s Pretending to Love You
Have a candid discussion
If you realize that your partner is pretending to love you, then the first thing you need to do is talk to him about your concerns. Let him know that there are some things he has been keeping from you and that those issues might affect the future of your relationship.
Distance yourself from him
In some cases, people who pretend to love you may realize that they have been caught red-handed. If this is the case, their only option is to distance themselves from you to prioritize their selfish needs. You need to clarify that there is no way for him to continue the relationship under these conditions, and if he tries, he will be playing with fire.
Remove yourself from the equation
This is not something that you will be able to solve by staying with your partner. You need to remove yourself from the equation to allow him to think about what he has lost and how much worse it can get if he continues along this path. Pushing you out of his life does not have to happen slowly, and it can be done in one clean cut if both of you are willing to accept the implications of your actions.
Talk to a trusted friend or seek professional help
If you feel alone in your situation, you might want to talk to someone about what is going on. A trusted friend who can be there for you during this time or a professional counselor can help you deal with the situation and explore some of the other available options.
Love up on yourself
When you are going through a situation like this, it is easy to focus all of your attention on what is going wrong. You don’t have to let that happen. Take some time for yourself and think about what you appreciate about yourself. It will remind you that more people out there care about you than those who pretend to love you to get something from you.
Consider whether or not this is a one-time occurrence
Sometimes we can cross paths with people who pretend to love us to get what they want, and then it’s over. If that is the case, you need to decide if cutting ties with them will improve your life or make it even worse. You also need to determine if you should think twice about getting involved with them again in the future.
Investigate what they want from you
If you decide that someone is pretending to love you, you need to figure out why. What do they get from you? That can be tricky to find if they are good at hiding what they are up to. Keep your eyes and ears open for any clues that might give away their true motivations.
In most cases, people who pretend to love you are not doing it because they want to hurt you, and their true motivations might be utterly unknown to them. If you find yourself in a situation like this, the best thing for you is to take a step back and figure out what is going on before making any rash decisions.