Signs You are Her Backup Guy




signs you are her backup guy

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Are you someone’s backup plan? It’s a common scenario to find oneself in, especially in today’s day and age – when there is so much choice and few lasting commitments. If you think you may have found yourself on the receiving end of this situation, it is essential to recognize the signs giving away their true intentions.

From feeling like their time for them isn’t as valuable as yours to promoting another person instead of themselves, pay attention and take note if any warning signals pop up. Read on to learn more about these telling indicators that you may be her ‘backup guy’, so that action can be taken immediately.

signs you are her backup guy

Signs You are Her Backup Guy

She calls you only when the other guy is not available

Knowing that you are someone’s backup can be uncomfortable and often casts a dark cloud on any relationship. If the person you are frequently seeing or dating only calls or texts when their first choice isn’t available, then this is a sign they don’t prioritize your feelings.

This behavior usually means they have no genuine interest in taking things to the next level and view you as merely a convenience in times of need. In these cases, it may be best to consider moving on and finding someone who puts your feelings first without fail.

You go on low-key dates

Going on low-key dates can be romantic and intimate, but they could signify something more serious. If your partner repeatedly insists on going out with you on a tight budget or when plans are kept deliberately simple, it could indicate that you are her backup guy. This may only sometimes be the case, but it is still worth considering.

Ultimately, this decision requires each person involved to evaluate the situation carefully and decide for themselves what course to take.

She never introduces you as her boyfriend

It seems like a red flag when your girlfriend never introduces you as her boyfriend. It may be because she is keeping one foot out of the relationship, which could mean that you are her backup guy — just in case someone better comes along.

This situation can be tough to navigate, but it’s essential to know your self-worth and not stick around if you feel you’re being taken for granted or treated as an afterthought. Make sure you don’t settle for being anyone’s second choice.

Your conversations are always about general topics

If you find yourself involved in conversations with your crush, which always revolve around general topics, it could be a sign that she sees you more as a backup than a potential romantic interest. Constant polite conversation, with nothing deeper or significant being discussed, can indicate that the feelings are not mutual and there is no real commitment to move the relationship forward.

This can be difficult to read and accept, but paying attention to these signals from those we care about is essential, lest we invest too much of our time in someone who only wants us on standby.

You’re not included in her important decisions

It certainly isn’t a good sign when you notice that your significant other is not including you in her most important decisions. This could indicate that you are just serving as a backup plan for her, someone who is available when she has no one else to turn to.

Although this may have been the state of your relationship from the beginning, it is much more likely that things have changed between the two of you, and you have become more of a second choice than the person with whom she wants to share her most private thoughts and feelings. A lasting relationship requires honesty, communication and trust. If these qualities are missing in your relationship, it may be time to reassess what you value most.

She takes longer to reply to your messages

It’s always a red flag when someone you’re interested in takes longer to reply to your messages. It doesn’t necessarily indicate that you don’t have feelings for each other, but it may indicate that they have another person they prioritize. Suppose your conversations are becoming less frequent despite remaining friendly. In that case, it may be because you are being relegated to the status of a backup guy or someone who’s on the back burner in case their first-choice relationship does not work out.

To avoid this situation and for your emotional health, it’s best to communicate with the person about how you feel before any misunderstandings occur.

You’re not the one she goes to for emotional support 

When that particular person turns to you for the occasional vent session and the comfort from conversations, it’s natural to think your relationship is going somewhere. But if they never turn to you when they genuinely need someone, it may signify that you’re their backup guy. It hurts at first, but facing reality sooner than later is better.

Embrace yourself with the power of your surrounding friendships, and don’t expect any different from this relationship that seems to remain one-sided.

There is no physical intimacy between you two 

If you feel your relationship with your special someone lacks physical intimacy, consider if you are her backup guy. It’s essential to explore this issue to determine whether something is hindering the emotional connection between you two or if she has already taken steps towards a different relationship. Building a strong emotional connection is essential for a successful relationship, and if your partner does not share that same outlook, it can lead to issues with physical intimacy.

Therefore, it’s essential to recognize the signs that the dynamic of your relationship should be different. Take the first step towards figuring out what is happening and work on finding solutions to build a stronger connection that will bridge any gaps between you two.

She rarely posts pictures of you both together

If your girlfriend rarely posts pictures of you two together, it might signify that you are her backup plan. Being the person, she turns to only when no one else is available can be discouraging and hurtful. As difficult as it may be to accept, it’s essential to consider if she genuinely values your relationship as much as you do.

Look for other signs in her behavior that suggest her feelings towards you; perhaps how often she reaches out to talk or how much effort she puts into activities you do together. Consider whether these behaviors align with what you expect or deserve from a healthy relationship, and consider those thoughts before making any decisions.

She keeps her plans with you a secret

She might consider you the backup guy if she keeps all of her plans with you a secret. Although it is beneficial for both of you to be open and honest about your plans in the long run, this may point to her insecurity as she is unsure if her original plans are enough for her or someone else.

This could lead to distancing from both of you as she will feel unsafe confiding with either of you. Both parties must communicate with each other and figure out their true feelings.

You feel like she’s keeping something from you

When you feel like your crush is keeping something from you and you’re left in the dark, it could indicate that you are her backup guy. That feeling of insecurity can be difficult to process and can be tempting to ignore it and avoid bringing the issue up. But if you don’t figure out why she’s not being completely open with you, then what little connection you have between each other could be broken beyond repair.

When these signs show themselves, don’t shy away from talking about them – address them head-on and find out exactly what’s going on so that both parties understand where they stand in the relationship.

How do you tell if you are her backup

Your conversations are mostly one-sided, and it always revolves around her

If someone you are interested in seems only to be calling you when they need a favor or they’re bored, it may be time to think twice before investing any more of your time and energy.

This behavior is often indicative of someone who considers you to be a “backup guy” while they pursue other interests. It’s hard, but sometimes it’s necessary to accept that the person you like isn’t ready for a real relationship or is not into you. Instead of waiting for them to change their mind, it’s healthier to move on and find someone who will appreciate all your amazing qualities.


If you feel you’re being treated like a backup plan, pay attention to your feelings and allow yourself the space to breathe. Recognizing that something is off can create an opportunity to recalibrate, look at the situation anew, and take charge of your life. It’s important to remember that there is no shame or blame in this situation.

Things didn’t work out – it’s happened before and will happen again. What’s critical is learning from the experience and adjusting how you approach things in the future. The path is yours alone; you can decide which direction to take with clarity and confidence. Knowing signs of being a backup guy can help secure solid relationships down the road!

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