This article is not for everyone. The intention here is to reach out to the woman that has been desperately trying everything she can think of to save her *cringe* sexless marriage. Those women are out there, and if you’re one of them, Then it is not too late! There are steps you can take to turn things around!
Reasons My Husband Won’t Touch Me
He’s Suffering From Depression
Over half of men who suffer from depression become non-responsive in the bedroom. Depression, unfortunately, is a plague – and not just on those whom it affects. Many studies show that this particular illness can be contagious – even if you’re not depressed yourself! That’s right: Your spouse can actually ‘catch’ their depression from you. So, if your husband is depressed, he’s probably not going to be initiating any sexy time with you anytime soon.
Depression affects men in different ways than it does women. Generally speaking, men tend to get angry when feeling down, while women are more likely to feel sad or cry. If your husband is suffering from grief, odds are he’s feeling pretty mad about the loss of someone or something close to him. Naturally, you’re going to want to give this person space during his ‘time-out.’ But, ignoring their feelings won’t change them any time soon. Be patient with your husband while he works through his loss, but don’t let him take it out on you. Just because he’s mad at the world doesn’t mean he has a right to be angry with you too.
He Doesn’t Want To Appear Inadequate.
Unfortunately, when people can’t satisfy their bed partners, they tend to feel inadequate. Some men will refuse to have sex altogether to avoid this feeling rather than risk not satisfying their partners. If your husband has been avoiding you in the bedroom for a while, he may be afraid of being intimate with you because he doesn’t want to feel bad about himself or his abilities in bed. Whatever the reason, you need to talk to him about this. He may be too embarrassed or ashamed to tell you what’s going on, so it’s up to you to get the conversation started.
He Feels Emasculated
Unfortunately, your husband’s performance might be the last thing on his mind when he’s feeling inadequate. Feeling emasculated isn’t a feeling men are particularly proud of. After all, who wants to be thought of as less manly? In fact, not meeting your sexual needs or expectations could make him feel even less masculine than ever.
He Maybe Tired of Initiating Sexual Contact.
If you require him to make the advances, it may be time to change your approach. Perhaps he could take the lead when you two are getting ready for bed or before you go out on a date?
He might be too busy with work, friends, or another relationship to be bothered with yours.
If he is working harder than ever before, his personal life may seem like an afterthought. Men are often guilty of neglecting their partners for one reason or another. You may feel like you are competing with his job.
To make matters worse, when he finally has some time, he may not want anything to do with you.
He Has Low Self-Esteem
He might be insecure in the relationship and express that in self-destructive ways. This is especially true if he doesn’t feel confident in himself.
If your partner doesn’t think he is worthy of you, he may withdraw from the relationship. It might be easier for him to get his needs met elsewhere rather than confront them with you. This can make it difficult for you to get your needs met as well.
He’s Struggling With Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is a debilitating disorder that can strike at any time. People with this illness may be fine one moment and paralyzed the next. If your partner experiences these episodes regularly, it might make sexual contact challenging to initiate and maintain.
While you don’t need to know precisely what is going on in his mind, you do need to know that he loves you. Try to keep the lines of communication open and give him a chance to explain his behavior.
He’s In A Rush To Get You Pregnant
If your partner wants kids but isn’t rushing to start a family, this might be an issue. If he is eager to have children, his sexual interest in you may have waned. He might be so focused on getting you pregnant that he can’t get an erection.
He could also feel less attracted to you because of your changing body. This transition into parenthood might not be easy for either of you, and sex may add another layer of stress.
He Doesn’t Want To Hurt You.
He may be afraid of hurting you if your sex life isn’t up to par. This can be especially true with people who have had sexual assault. If he perceives himself as a threat or knows you do, it may cause him to avoid intimacy altogether.
For some men, sex can seem like work. If this is the case with your partner, he might do it out of a sense of obligation to please you rather than for his pleasure. He may also be concerned about hurting your feelings if he is not enjoying himself.
You’re On Your Period
It’s pretty standard for women to eschew sex when they’re menstruating. Some women don’t like the way it feels, especially if they’re on their heavy flow days, while others are downright irritated by their husband’s touch during this time of the month—which is understandable!
You Smell Gross
Women who aren’t meticulous about bathing every day may be turned off by their husbands’ scent, whether it’s the result of a long day at work or a ball game. You may think that your husband would be turned off by this no matter what, but consider the fact that men sweat and don’t always smell good when they take off their clothes.
He’s Having An Affair
It’s hard enough to deal with the suspicion that your husband is cheating, but then discovering that he is having an affair can leave you feeling even worse. You might find it tough to get in the mood when you fear that his affections are elsewhere instead of focused on you.
He Feels You’re Cheating On Him
If you notice your man’s sex drive is flagging, it could be because he isn’t getting what he needs from you. Is he sexually satisfied in the bedroom? Does he feel like you’re meeting his other needs outside of the sexual sphere? If not, then perhaps this is why he’s turned off by you, which is understandable.
He Needs More Variety In His Sex Life
A man who is into you doesn’t care if he has sex with the same woman ten times a day for a year—he’ll still be up for it every time. If this isn’t the case in your bedroom, then perhaps he feels like there’s not enough variety to the two of you having sex all the time.
FAQs Reasons My Husband Won’t Touch Me.
What do you do when your husband shows no affection?
This is hard to handle, but you have to work on being emotionally available for your husband. If he doesn’t see that you are communicating with him, this might entice his affection towards you.
Can a marriage survive without affection?
Yes, of course, marriage can survive without affection. However, it will struggle and that is not going to be a healthy environment for either partner.
What does it mean when your man doesn’t touch you?
This can be taken as him not wanting to have sex with you. If he has touched you before, this could mean something wrong in your marriage.
What does it mean when your husband is not intimate with you?
It means that there is a communication or compatibility issue in your marriage. If you want to save it, you have to be willing to work on yourself and the relationship at hand.
How do you tell if your husband has lost interest in you?
It would help if you looked out for the signs. It would help if you also considered whether they are having an affair at this point. This could be your spouse avoiding you or not wanting to spend time with you anymore.
Just because your husband isn’t affectionate or sexually interested in you doesn’t mean that his feelings have changed. In most cases, it has to do with something deeper instead of a primal biological drive to reproduce. Women need to remember this as they try and make sense of the disconnect between themselves and their partners.