There are many misconceptions about love and relationships. One of these is that the man in the relationship should always be the one to make all the moves and do all the special things for his girl. As a woman in a relationship, it’s quite refreshing when your partner does something special for you out of nowhere. But, what if your partner never does anything special for you? Don’t worry; you’re not alone. In this post, you will discover some reasons why your boyfriend might not do anything special for you.
Your Love Languages Are Mismatched
The five love languages are:
Words of Affirmation
If you love getting compliments, your guy might be giving you the wrong impression. The words of affirmation are so important to you that he has taken it for granted that this is what makes you feel loved. He hears the words “I love you” but doesn’t understand why they don’t make you feel special.
Does he take you out on dates? Does he spend time with you one-on-one, or does he hang out with the guys all the time? If this is your love language, perhaps you’re not getting enough of his attention. He either doesn’t understand that spending quality time together makes you feel special, or he doesn’t care.
Does he give you small gifts here and there, or is it something bigger? If you love getting gifts, perhaps your boyfriend doesn’t realize how special this makes you feel. You need to show him that it’s a big deal when he gives you something because that’s the only way he’ll know.
Acts of Service
Does he do anything to help you with your chores? Does he help you with the dishes, laundry, or cooking? If this is your primary love language, then it’s more likely that he doesn’t understand that doing small things for you makes a huge difference. You need to show him that these little things make a big difference to you.
Do you cuddle with him on the couch or go out of your way to hug him? If physical touch is your love language, perhaps he doesn’t understand that this means a lot to you. For your boyfriend to know how important it is for him to be affectionate with you, you need to show him. While communicating your love languages is a great way to let him know what makes you feel special, he also must understand that doing or not doing certain things has nothing to do with how much you love him.
Reasons My Boyfriend Doesn’t Do Anything Special for Me
He Doesn’t Know What You Want
As a woman, there is no shortage of things that you want your guy to do for you. The problem is, he may not know what those things are unless you tell him. You have to show him what makes you feel appreciated and special so he knows how important it is to make a move or do something thoughtful from time to time. If you want him to take you out on a date, then this should be your primary goal.
You Don’t Meet His Needs
He must know how much you appreciate him and what he does for you. This is especially true if your boyfriend does a lot for you and you don’t do the same. While it may not be intentional, this can lead to feelings of one-sidedness in your relationship which will eventually result in unhappiness for both of you.
You’re Always Together
Your boyfriend might not do anything special for you because he gets to see you all the time. There might be times when he wants to take a break from being with you but knows that if he does, then it will hurt your feelings. This is why hanging out or being together so much can have the opposite effect of what you want.
You’re Mothering Him
If you try to act like your boyfriend’s mom, he probably won’t step up and do anything special for you. He’d much rather hear the words “thank you” than feel like he has to earn them by doing something nice for you. This is why it’s so important that you take care of your own needs before trying to take care of them.
He’s a Taker
Some guys are just takers and this isn’t something that you can change. If your boyfriend is used to getting everything he wants all the time, then it will be hard for him to understand what you want from him. Perhaps if your man doesn’t have a lot of people in his life putting their needs before his, then he won’t know how to love you the way you deserve.
How to Make Him Feel Appreciated
There are many reasons why your boyfriend might not do anything special for you or even take notice of things that would make you feel loved. No matter what the reason is though, there’s always a way to get what you want.
You’re Smothering Him
While trying to get your boyfriend to do something special for you may seem like the right thing to do, it can have the opposite effect. If you smother him with love and affection, he’ll feel like all he has to do is walk-in or out of a room for you to say “I love you.” Don’t let yourself become so clingy that your man feels suffocated by your presence at all times.
You’re Giving Up on Yourself
It’s understandable if you’re feeling down about not being able to get what you want from him. While being sad over not having a guy who will do anything special for you is understandable, don’t give up yet because this isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It’s time for you to realize that being sad and upset won’t help anything because it will only make your relationship worse.
He Doesn’t Know How You Want Him to Show His Love
While a man might appreciate the things you do for him, he doesn’t know how important it is for him to be affectionate with you. Perhaps if you’re not as physically affectionate as he wants you to be, then chances are he’ll think that this is okay. For your boyfriend to know what makes your heart grow fonder, then you have to show him.
You Have Very Different Interests And Likes
Maybe your significant other isn’t into the same things you are. If you know that he’s not interested in doing anything special for you, then this is something that you’ll have to accept. While it may be hard for you to let go of your expectations, there are other ways for him to show how much he cares.
He Doesn’t Feel Like You Give Him Anything in Return
It’s easy for boyfriends and girlfriends to give each other the silent treatment when they feel like their needs aren’t being met. This might make him feel like he never has to do anything special to get what he wants out of life because if this is how you’re acting towards him, chances are all he has to do is walk in the room.
You’re Looking for Someone to Complete You
If you’re always begging your boyfriend to do more around the house, then he might think that this is what you want from him. While both of you need to pitch in with chores, doing things for each other shouldn’t be your only way of showing love. There are many ways for him to reveal his affection and appreciation towards you without having to do anything special at all. It’s time for him to understand what will make you feel loved, even if it doesn’t include gifts or fancy dinners every night.
You Don’t See All The Things He Does Do
If you want to get your boyfriend to do more for you, you have to appreciate all the things that he does already do. Even if his affection towards you isn’t something that he often shows, it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. Chances are, once you start focusing on these loving gestures, then your love will see how much he means to you and make an effort to show his selfless acts of kindness.
You Don’t Give Him Enough Quality Time
While both of you may be busy with work or school, quality time is always important in any relationship. If spending every waking second together is your priority when it comes to being in a loving relationship, then it’s likely that this is how you’ll act. You want to show your boyfriend that it’s important for him to spend time with you and not just give you things like gifts or love notes.
He Feels Like You’re Not Willing to Make an Effort
While it can feel like everything is always on his shoulders when it comes to spending time together, he might think that this is how it has to be. The both of you should make an effort in making dates nights happen because honestly, the more romantic gestures there are between the two of you, the better off your relationship will be. If he doesn’t see how much work you put into your relationship by trying different things, then getting him to do anything special for you is going to be next to impossible.
He Feels Like You Give Him Too Many Demands
If you give your boyfriend a long list of things he has to do for you, then it’s only natural that he’ll grow tired of doing them all. While it might be important for you to see him put more effort into your relationship, this is something that will only come with time. Before asking him to do anything special for you or even attempt some romance by making plans together, then maybe you should let him love and appreciate the woman that you are before giving too many demands. Perhaps once he gets the idea of what type of girlfriend he has, his affection towards you will grow stronger than ever.
His Affection Is All About Putting A Smile On Your Face
While there’s nothing wrong with your boyfriend thinking that it’s important to do the things you like the most, this is something that should be done with an equal amount of affection. If you’re always asking him for gifts or something else in return, then he might think that your love is all about getting what you want out of life and not about doing anything special for you. If this is how he feels, then maybe his feelings towards you will never change no matter how much time goes by.
He Feels Like You Don’t Appreciate Anything He Does Do
If there’s one thing that men love more than anything else, it’s when their girlfriend shows loving gestures towards them. However, when your boyfriend does something for you and doesn’t feel like he receives anything in return, this hurts his feelings. If it feels like giving him ideas of what to do for you will make things worse in the long run, then try doing these things yourself. Making it seem like he’s not willing to put in the effort will only make him want to do less for you later on.
You Want Him to Open Up More Instead of Doing Things For You
If the two of you are constantly talking about how his affection towards women has hurt him in the past, maybe it’s time that you opened up more too. While there might be areas where he needs to improve, most men need a woman willing to open up more to get their affection. However, if your boyfriend thinks that you’re never going to give him the same level of love that he would want, why should he try? If you show your affection by opening up more about your past relationships and struggles with life, it will positively affect his affection towards you.
While selfishness isn’t inherently bad, it can cause problems in your relationship if he doesn’t see how his actions affect you. If you guys are constantly having fights about how he has hurt you, then maybe it’s time to look at the reasons why. It might seem like he cares more about himself than having a loving relationship with you, but other factors probably keep him from showing affection towards you.
He Doesn’t Feel Safe Being Vulnerable Around You
If your boyfriend is only going to show affection towards you when it seems safe for him to do so, this will never last. However, if the two of you have often been fighting, then maybe this is because he feels like you’re never going to accept him for who he is. This can be a dangerous area for any relationship, but it sometimes happens when the woman doesn’t know how to give affection and asks her boyfriend to do things. Love can be difficult for anyone, so if your boyfriend isn’t showing his love towards you, then maybe you should find ways to show yours first.
He Just Wants To Get Things Right
If there’s one thing we all need in life, it’s making sure we get things right before we start doing anything else. While this might not always work out in our favor, if your boyfriend feels like he hasn’t figured everything out yet, he might be waiting until the timing is right. However, waiting for the timing to be right isn’t the same as being afraid of commitment, so try asking him why he hasn’t done anything special for you yet. Maybe his timing is just different than yours, but if it doesn’t feel like all hope is lost, then perhaps you should wait a little longer.
He Doesn’t Feel Like You’re Worth It
If your boyfriend has started to show less affection towards you over time without explaining, there could be reasons behind this. When men start thinking that they aren’t worth showing affection towards someone anymore, things will change slowly until they disappear completely. If this starts happening before you even have a chance to ask him what’s wrong with your relationship, then you should try asking him why he doesn’t feel it’s worth showing affection to you anymore.
He Doesn’t Feel Like You Love Him Back
The only reason a person would stop loving someone is when they don’t feel loved in return. If there are days when your boyfriend shows more affection towards you, then this could be because he feels like the relationship is going back in the right direction. However, if it seems like his affection is becoming less over time without an explanation, he may not feel that the feelings are mutual between the two of you anymore. Try asking him what has changed recently to discuss this instead of letting things get worse without explaining.
He’s Lost Interest But Doesn’t Want To Hurt You
If your boyfriend has stopped showing affection towards you completely, then this could be because he’s lost interest. If there are times when he shows that he still cares about you, then this might mean that he doesn’t feel like hurting you by coming clean. However, instead of letting things slowly fade away, it might be best to talk to him about how his lack of affection affects your relationship to improve.
He’s Seeing Somebody Else
This is a situation where talking won’t make a difference because your boyfriend will never admit the truth. If this is what’s going on, it might be best to look out for signs of cheating instead of pushing him towards something he doesn’t want. Even though you can try to change his mind or repair things, that might never happen if he’s not ready.
He’s Anxious About Commitment
If your boyfriend has been showing less affection towards you lately without an explanation, then there could be reasons why. It could be because he’s simply looking for a way to seem distant so that you don’t get hurt when things come crashing down. If this seems like something your boyfriend would do, then you should try to ask him why he’s so distant before jumping to conclusions.
He’s Afraid Of Losing You
If your boyfriend has been showing less affection towards you lately, it could be because he’s afraid of losing you. Either something bad is going on in his life, and he doesn’t feel like bringing you down with him, or it seems like maybe the feelings aren’t there anymore. If things are starting to fade away slowly, then instead of letting them slip completely out of sight, try talking to your boyfriend about what’s happening between the two of you so that it doesn’t happen without explaining.
He Doesn’t Think You Are Special
If your boyfriend has started to show less affection towards you over time, maybe he doesn’t feel like you two are special anymore. If this is the case, it might be better not to try forcing things because nothing will get fixed. Instead of waiting around for something that might never happen, why not find somebody that makes you feel like their one and only? There’s no reason to wait around when it seems like your boyfriend isn’t interested in finding a solution.
He Doesn’t Think You Deserve It
There could be several reasons why your boyfriend hasn’t been showing affection lately, but if he doesn’t seem interested in working on it, then there’s probably a bigger problem going on. Even though he might seem like he still cares about you, some people can’t show their feelings in any way. If this is something your boyfriend would do, it might be best to find somebody else so that you don’t have to wait around for him.
He’s Just Not That Into You
There could be several reasons why your boyfriend has been distant lately without an explanation, but if it doesn’t seem like he wants to work on things, then there’s no point in trying. Even though you might want him back, these things take time and effort on both sides. It’s better to move on than try making somebody who doesn’t feel the same way try.
He’s Under A Lot Of Pressure
If you’ve noticed your boyfriend is showing less affection towards you lately without an explanation, then there are some possibilities. It might be because he’s simply trying to avoid hurting you in the future when things crash down. However, if it seems like he doesn’t even want to try, then it might be best not to beg him; just look for somebody that puts in the effort.
Often, people show less affection when they feel like there’s a problem that needs to be fixed. If you’ve noticed your boyfriend is acting distant in some way, then instead of asking him why try finding out by yourself if you don’t want to end up disappointed. Even though it might seem impossible for things to go back to the way they were, it might be better not to make somebody who doesn’t care try.