Dealing with in-laws can be tough whether you’re a newlywed or have been married for years. Finding ways to set boundaries and create healthy relationships with your spouse’s family is important. Here are some tips on how to do just that.
Distancing Yourself from In-laws
Keep communication to a minimum
Distance yourself by communicating less. In-laws can be overwhelming; sometimes, you need a break from them. One way to create distance is by communicating less. This doesn’t mean being rude or cutting them off completely, but it does mean setting boundaries.
For example, you might only talk to them once a week or only see them on major holidays. You don’t need to give them a detailed explanation of why you’re doing this, but explain that you need some space. If they’re truly supportive, they’ll understand and respect your decision. By setting these boundaries, you’ll be able to create the distance you need to maintain a healthy relationship with your in-laws.
Set boundaries and stick to them
One of the most difficult things about In-laws is setting boundaries. It’s hard to know where to draw the line between what is acceptable and what isn’t. And it’s even harder to stick to those boundaries once they’re set. However, it’s important to remember that you are the one in control of your own life. You have a right to set and expect those boundaries to be respected. If your In-laws are crossing the line, don’t be afraid to speak up and tell them about their inappropriate behaviour. It may not be easy, but keeping your relationship healthy is necessary.
Avoid being alone with them
It can be difficult to establish boundaries with in-laws, especially if you live close to them or see them often. However, it is important to set limits to maintain a healthy relationship.
One way to do this is to avoid being alone with them. This includes both physical and emotional distance. Limit your interactions to group settings or times when other family members are present if you can. This will help to prevent any unwanted advances or problems from arising.
Additionally, being honest with your in-laws about your feelings is important. Let them know if you are feeling uncomfortable or disrespected. This will help to ensure that they are aware of your boundaries and will be more likely to respect them.
Don’t take their side in arguments
One way to do this is to avoid taking sides in arguments. This doesn’t mean that you should agree with everything they say, but simply that you should try to remain neutral. By doing so, you can help to ease tension and create more peace in your family. In addition, by distancing yourself from the arguments, you may also find more patience and understanding for your in-laws. After all, they are family, and you want what’s best for them just as much as they want what’s best for you.
Disengage from drama
One of the most difficult aspects of In-laws is learning how to deal with their drama. Whether it’s constant fighting, always needing to be right, or always being the center of attention, drama can be a major source of stress. The key to managing In-law drama is to disengage from it. This means setting boundaries and refusing to participate in arguments or gossip. It also means not taking sides and refusing to be drawn into the in-law’s drama. By disengaging from the drama, you can protect yourself from stress and maintain a healthy relationship with your in-laws.
Avoid talking about hot-button topics
Another way to create distance is to avoid talking about hot-button topics. These topics will likely cause arguments or tension between you and your In-laws. Some examples of hot-button topics include politics, religion, and money. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to discuss these topics just because your In-laws bring them up. It’s often best to avoid them altogether. By doing so, you can help to prevent arguments and maintain a more peaceful relationship.
Don’t vent about them to others
It can be tempting to vent about your In-laws to other people. However, this is often not a good idea. Not only does it create distance between you and your In-laws, but it also puts a strain on your relationships with others. If you need to vent about your In-laws, try to do so in a constructive way. For example, you could talk to a therapist or counselor about your feelings. Or, you could journal about your experiences. This can be a helpful way to release your frustration without damaging your relationships.
Keep your distance physically and emotionally
One of the most important things to remember when distancing yourself from your In-laws is to keep a physical and emotional distance. This means avoiding being alone with them, setting boundaries, and disengaging from drama. It also means not venting about them to others and avoiding hot-button topics. By keeping your distance, you can help to protect yourself from stress and maintain a healthy relationship.
Don’t attend family gatherings alone
If possible, try to avoid attending family gatherings alone. This will help to ensure that you are not left alone with your In-laws and that there is always someone else around in case things get tense. Additionally, it can be helpful to bring along a friend or spouse to family gatherings. This way, you will have someone to talk to if things get uncomfortable.
Don’t share personal information with them
It’s important to remember that you don’t have to share personal information with your In-laws. This includes your address, phone number, email address, and social media accounts. If they ask for this information, you can say that you prefer not to share it. By doing so, you can help to protect yourself from unwanted contact.
Respect their privacy
Arguing with in-laws about big issues like religion or politics or small things like how to load the dishwasher is one of the most common sources of conflict in marriages. If you frequently argue with your in-laws, it may be time to set some boundaries.
One way to do this is to respect their privacy. This means refraining from snooping through their belongings or asking personal questions about their lives. It also means not sharing private information about your own life with them without first getting your spouse’s permission. By respecting your in-laws’ privacy, you can help to build a more positive relationship with them and reduce the chances of a conflict.
Don’t ask for favors
Establishing and maintaining boundaries with in-laws can be difficult, but protecting your relationship with your spouse is important. One way to create distance is to avoid asking for favors. This sends the message that you are independent and capable of taking care of yourself, and it also helps to prevent your in-laws from feeling like they need to be involved in every aspect of your life.
Additionally, try to limit the time you spend with your in-laws and schedule quality time with your spouse. By establishing these boundaries, you can help to create a healthy and happy relationship with your in-laws.
Most people have experienced the feeling of being trapped in a conversation with their in-laws that they can’t seem to escape. Whether it’s an interrogation about your love life or unsolicited advice about your career, it can be difficult to know how to respond without seeming rude. The best way to handle these situations is to be assertive. This doesn’t mean getting into a yelling match or overtly putting your foot down, but rather calmly and firmly expressing your feelings.
For example, if your mother-in-law asks personal questions that make you uncomfortable, you can say something like, “I’m not comfortable discussing that with you.” By setting boundaries and communicating your needs clearly, you can establish a healthy relationship with your in-laws that works for both of you.
Ignore their attempts to control you
If you’re married, you know how difficult it can be to please both your spouse and their parents. Your in-laws may have ideas about how you should live your life, and they may not hesitate to voice their opinions. If you’re feeling suffocated by their attempts to control you, it’s important to take action.
The first step is to establish boundaries. Make it clear to your in-laws that you are an independent adult and expect them to respect your decisions. If they try to control you, distance yourself from them emotionally. This doesn’t mean that you have to completely cut them out of your life, but you shouldn’t allow yourself to be drawn into their drama. Instead, focus on your relationship with your spouse and build a life that makes both of you happy.
Avoid gossiping about them
Even if you get along well with your in-laws, managing a close relationship with them can be difficult. You may not see them often enough to develop a strong bond if you live far away. And if you live close by, you may feel like you see them too much! If you’re looking for some space from your in-laws, one way to create distance is to avoid gossiping about them.
This includes talking about them behind their back and listening to others talk about them. Not only is generally gossiping unkind, but it also creates an unnecessary divide between you and your in-laws. Furthermore, it can be difficult to resist the temptation to gossip, especially if you have a shared grievance with someone else in the family. However, if you can learn to bite your tongue, you’ll likely find it easier to create healthy boundaries with your in-laws.
Be the bigger person
Maintaining a relationship with your in-laws can be difficult, especially if you don’t see eye to eye. However, it’s important to remember that they are your spouse’s family and that you will likely spend a lot of time with them throughout your life. To create a healthy relationship with your in-laws, being the bigger person is important.
This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything they say or do, but it does mean that you should try to see things from their perspective. Additionally, it’s important to be respectful and avoid engaging in arguments or conflict. Taking the high road can set the tone for a positive relationship with your in-laws.
Seek outside support
If you’re struggling to establish a healthy relationship with your in-laws, seeking outside support is important. Talk to your spouse about your concerns and see if they’re willing to help mediate the situation. If not, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the situation. Additionally, many online resources and support groups can provide helpful advice.
No one deserves to be treated poorly by their in-laws, and you shouldn’t hesitate to seek help if you’re feeling overwhelmed. You can take the first step towards creating a healthy relationship with your in-laws by reaching out for support.
Don’t let them guilt you
In-laws can be notorious for guilt-tripping their children’s spouses. If your in-laws are constantly trying to make you feel guilty, it’s important to nip the behavior in the bud. Guilt is a toxic emotion that can damage relationships and create unnecessary conflict.
If your in-laws are making you feel guilty, talk to them about it. Let them know their behavior is unacceptable and you won’t tolerate it. Additionally, try to avoid getting drawn into their guilt trips. This can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that you’re not responsible for their happiness. By setting boundaries with your in-laws, you can protect yourself from their manipulative behavior.
Don’t let them manipulate you
In-laws can be master manipulators and often use guilt to get what they want. If your in-laws are constantly manipulating you, it’s important to stop the behavior. Talk to them about their manipulation and let them know that it’s not acceptable. Additionally, try to avoid getting drawn into their manipulative tactics. This can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that you’re not responsible for their happiness. By setting boundaries with your in-laws, you can protect yourself from their manipulative behavior.
Have a plan B
If your in-laws are constantly manipulating you, it’s important to have a plan B. This could involve spending time with other family members or friends, taking a break from the relationship, or even seeking therapy. It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to tolerate their behavior. If your in-laws are making you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, it’s okay to walk away from the situation.
No one deserves to be treated poorly by their in-laws, and you shouldn’t hesitate to take action if you’re feeling overwhelmed. You can protect yourself from their manipulative behavior by having a plan B.
So, while it is important to show your in-laws respect, you also need to find a healthy balance between spending time with them and maintaining your own separate life. This may take some trial and error, but eventually, you will find the right groove. And when you do, make sure to enjoy it! Spending time with family is a precious gift that should be cherished.