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Everyone has things they don’t want to discuss – even with their therapist. However, there are some things you should never tell your therapist for a variety of reasons.
What You Should Never Tell Your Therapist
1.Lying
Honesty is always the best policy, especially regarding your mental health. When you see a therapist, you entrust them with your innermost thoughts and feelings. If you fib about what’s going on in your life, you’re only cheating yourself out of the opportunity to get better. Furthermore, your therapist will likely be able to tell if you’re not being truthful, which could damage the therapeutic relationship. Ultimately, if you want to make the most of therapy, you need to be honest with your therapist – no matter how difficult it may be.
2.Complaining about the previous therapist
When you enter therapy, you are looking for help. You want someone who will understand you, respect you, and provide guidance on improving your life. But what happens when your previous therapist doesn’t live up to those expectations? It can be tempting to vent about your previous therapist to your new one, but it’s important to resist that urge.
Complaining about your previous therapist can damage the trust you are trying to build with your new therapist and make it difficult for them to help you. It’s also important to remember that not all therapists are the same. Just because you had a bad experience with one therapist doesn’t mean all therapists are bad. If you struggle to trust your new therapist, try to open up and give them a chance. They may surprise you.
3.Wanting to be friends
To get the most out of therapy, it is vital to establish a trusting relationship with your therapist. This means being open and honest about your thoughts and feelings and sharing personal information that you may not feel comfortable sharing with others. However, one exception exists: you should never tell your therapist that you want to be friends with them.
While it may seem like a harmless request, it can undermine the therapeutic relationship. Your therapist is not your friend; they are a professional trained to help you address specific issues in your life. Asking them to be your friend sends the message that you don’t take their job seriously, making it difficult for them to help you in the ways you need. So, while it’s important to be open with your therapist, remember that some boundaries should never be crossed.
4.Half-truths
As we mentioned before, honesty is always the best policy when it comes to therapy. But what happens when you’re not ready to share the whole truth? It can be tempting to withhold information or tell half-truths to protect yourself, but it’s important to resist that urge.
Withholding information from your therapist can prevent them from being able to help you in the ways you need. They may give you advice that is not relevant to your situation, or they may miss important clues about what is going on. So, even if difficult, it’s always best, to be honest with your therapist – no matter what.
5.Just want a prescription
While medication can be an essential part of treatment for some mental health conditions, it is not a cure-all. Medication should always be used in conjunction with other forms of treatment, such as therapy.
Some people see therapy as a way to get a prescription for medication, but this is not what therapy is for. Therapy is about exploring the root cause of your problems and finding ways to cope with them. It is not a quick fix; it takes time and effort to see results. So, if you’re only looking for a prescription, you will likely be disappointed with therapy.
6.Asking the therapist to fix you
Therapy is not about fixing people; it’s about helping them to understand and cope with their problems. Asking your therapist to fix you is unrealistic and puts too much pressure on them.
Instead of asking your therapist to fix you, try to focus on what you can do to improve your life. This may include exploring your thoughts and feelings, learning new coping skills, or making lifestyle changes. Remember, you are the only one who can fix your life – not your therapist.
7.Small talk about avoiding real concerns
It can be challenging to open up about your deepest fears and concerns, but that is what therapy is for. You need to be honest with your therapist to get the most out of your session. Small talk may seem like an excellent way to avoid discussing complex topics, but it will only waste your time and money. Your therapist is there to help you work through your problems, so don’t be afraid to share what is on your mind. Ultimately, being open and honest is the best way to get the most out of therapy.
8.Making fun of others based on gender, culture, orientation
You know that strict confidentiality is one of the most important parts of therapy. Your therapist will never even tell you their thoughts or opinions about anything you say, let alone repeat it to anyone else. So, you feel safe talking about anything in therapy. Wrong. It is important to consider what you share in therapy because even though your therapist won’t repeat it, they may still be thinking about it. If you tell your therapist jokes that demean people based on gender, culture, or sexuality, your therapist will have difficulty hiding their judgment.
Furthermore, these jokes can serve as a barrier to progress in therapy. If you are joking about serious topics, it can be challenging to turn around then and discuss those topics seriously in therapy. So, while you may think it’s okay to joke around with your therapist, it’s best to avoid making jokes that could be offensive or hurtful.
9.Confessing love for the therapist
It is not uncommon for people to develop feelings of attraction to their therapist. After all, you spend a lot of time talking about intimate topics, and your therapist is probably pretty good at listening and giving advice. But regardless of how you feel, it is essential to remember that your therapist is not your friend – they are your therapist.
While it is okay to feel attracted to your therapist, it is not okay to act on those feelings. Your therapist is bound by a code of ethics that prohibits them from sexual relationships with their patients. So, if you confess your love for your therapist, you are likely to be disappointed – and may even damage your relationship with them.
10.Talking about other clients
When you go to therapy, you expect that what you say will be kept confidential. But did you know that your therapist also has a duty of confidentiality to other clients? This means your therapist cannot share information about other clients with you and vice versa.
So, if you start talking about other clients in therapy, your therapist will have to stop you. Not only is this a waste of time, but it can also be frustrating for you and your therapist. If you want to talk about other people in therapy, try to focus on people who are not clients of your therapist. This way, you can avoid breaching confidentiality and get the most out of your therapy sessions.
11.Saying therapy won’t work
If you go into therapy with the mindset that it won’t work, it probably won’t. Therapy requires a certain level of commitment and effort, and if you’re not willing to put in the work, then it’s unlikely that you’ll see any benefits.
So, if you’re not sure whether therapy is right for you, it’s essential to keep an open mind. Yes, therapy may be challenging, but it can also be gratifying. If you’re willing to give it a chance, you may be surprised at how much it can help.
12.Apologizing for talking about yourself
One of the most common things people say to their therapist is, “I’m sorry for talking about myself all the time.” But here’s the thing: that’s what therapy is for. You are supposed to talk about yourself in therapy!
If you apologize for talking about yourself, it sends the message that you think you shouldn’t be talking about yourself. This can make it difficult to open up and share your thoughts and feelings in therapy. So, instead of apologizing, try to focus on the reasons why you’re in therapy in the first place. Why did you decide to come to therapy? What do you hope to achieve? Keep these things in mind, and you’ll likely get the most out of your therapy sessions.
13.Apologizing for emotions
You should never have to apologize for your emotions. Your therapist is there to help you work through them, not judge you for having them. Unfortunately, many people feel they need to apologize for their negative emotions. This can result from cultural messages that equate displays of emotion with weakness.
However, your therapist will not think less of you for crying or being angry. They will likely see it as a sign that you’re opening up and working through your feelings. So next time you need to apologize for your emotions, remember that your therapist is there to support you, not judge you.
14.Sticking to facts
It’s essential, to be honest in therapy, but that doesn’t mean you have to stick to the facts. Your therapist is likely to be more interested in your thoughts and feelings than the facts of what happened.
Of course, there are some exceptions to this – if you’re sharing something that happened to you that was traumatizing, your therapist will want to know the details. But in general, focus on how you felt rather than what happened. This will help you get more out of therapy.
15.Being brutally honest
Being honest in therapy is important, but that doesn’t mean you have to be brutally honest. You may be better off not sharing some things with your therapist.
Of course, it’s up to you whether or not you want to share something – your therapist will not force you to talk about something you don’t want to. But if you’re not sure whether or not you should share something, it’s a good idea to err on the side of caution. Remember, your therapist is there to help you, not judge you.
Conclusion
These are some things you should avoid telling your therapist. Remember, therapy is a safe space for you to share your thoughts and feelings. So, be honest and open, and don’t hesitate to ask for help if needed.
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