Do Not Look For Healing At The Feet Of Those Who Broke You




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Do you know that approximately one in four women and one in ten men experience some form of intimate partner violence during their lifetime? It is a staggering statistic, highlighting the prevalence of abuse in our society. For those who have experienced abuse, seeking healing can be a challenging journey. Often, there is an ingrained desire to turn towards the very person or people who caused the harm for comfort and resolution. However, it is essential to recognize that looking for healing at the feet of those who broke you will only perpetuate harmful cycles.

In this article, we will explore why seeking healing from abusers can be detrimental to your well-being and how you can empower yourself on your journey towards recovery. We will discuss the importance of recognizing safe and supportive sources for healing and setting boundaries to prioritize your own needs. By reframing your approach to healing, you can break free from harmful cycles and begin building a stronger foundation for your future.

Key Takeaways

– Seeking healing from abusers is a harmful cycle
– Prioritize your own healing and seek out safe and supportive sources for healing
– Set boundaries and cut ties with those who continue to cause harm or do not support your healing process
– Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift and provide positive reinforcement, while also recognizing patterns and setting boundaries accordingly.

Recognize the Harmful Cycle of Seeking Healing from Abusers


You keep going back to the ones who hurt you, hoping they’ll fix what’s broken, but all they do is break you further. You know deep down that seeking healing from abusers is a harmful cycle, yet it’s difficult to break free from. It’s understandable that you may feel like only those who caused your pain can heal it, but this way of thinking is flawed.

Abusers have already shown you their true colors by inflicting harm upon you in the first place. Expecting them to suddenly become compassionate and helpful towards your healing is unrealistic and dangerous. Seeking healing from those who broke you will only lead to disappointment and more pain.

Instead of continuing this cycle of seeking healing from abusers, seek out safe and supportive sources for your healing journey. You deserve to be surrounded by individuals who uplift and empower you rather than tear you down. Recognize that there are people out there who genuinely care about your well-being and want to help you heal.

Seek Healing from Safe and Supportive Sources


Find solace in sources that embrace and uplift you, surrounding yourself with love and positivity. Seek out people who make you feel safe and validated, those who listen without judgment and offer support without expecting anything in return. It’s important to recognize that healing is a process that requires patience, understanding, and compassion from both yourself and those around you. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it.

In order to heal from past trauma, it’s crucial to set boundaries and prioritize your own healing. This means recognizing when something or someone is triggering or harmful to your mental health, and taking the necessary steps to distance yourself from these negative influences. Trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to say no if something doesn’t feel right.

Remember that healing is not a linear journey – there will be ups and downs along the way. Give yourself grace as you navigate this process, knowing that it takes time to heal wounds that have been inflicted over years or even decades. But by seeking out safe and supportive sources of comfort, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing your own well-being above all else, you can begin the journey towards true healing and reclaiming your power.

Set Boundaries and Prioritize Your Own Healing


Setting boundaries and making your own healing a priority are essential steps towards achieving true emotional wellness. It’s important to recognize that you have the power to control who you allow in your life and how they treat you. By setting boundaries, you can protect yourself from those who may have caused harm in the past and prioritize your own healing journey.

To help visualize the importance of this concept, consider the following table:

People Positive Impact Negative Impact
——– —————- —————-
Supportive Friends & Family Encouragement, Love, Comfort Judgment, Disapproval, Negativity
Toxic Individuals None Manipulation, Gaslighting, Emotional Abuse

When we surround ourselves with supportive individuals who uplift us and provide positive reinforcement, we are more likely to make progress on our healing journey. On the other hand, toxic individuals can hinder our growth and even cause further harm. By recognizing these patterns and setting boundaries accordingly, we take control of our lives and prioritize our own wellbeing.

Empowering yourself in your healing journey involves taking responsibility for your own emotions and actively seeking out resources that will aid in your personal growth. Remember that it’s okay to cut ties with those who continue to cause harm or do not support your healing process. You deserve to be surrounded by people who love and uplift you as you navigate through life’s challenges.

Empower Yourself in Your Healing Journey


Empowering yourself means taking control of your emotional wellbeing and seeking out resources that will aid in personal growth. It’s important to take an active role in your healing journey, rather than relying solely on others to fix you. You have the power within yourself to make positive changes and overcome any obstacles that come your way.

One way to empower yourself is by seeking out therapy or counseling. A trained professional can provide guidance and support as you work through difficult emotions and experiences. They can also teach you coping skills and techniques for managing stress, anxiety, and other mental health challenges. Don’t be afraid to ask for help – it takes strength to reach out for support.

Another way to empower yourself is by practicing self-care. This includes taking time each day to do things that bring you joy, such as reading a book, going for a walk, or practicing yoga. It also means setting boundaries with others and prioritizing your own needs over the needs of those who may have hurt you in the past. Remember: healing is a process, not an event. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some common signs that indicate seeking healing from an abuser is not a good idea?

If you feel unsafe or vulnerable around the abuser, if they have not taken responsibility for their actions, if they continue to deny your experiences or gaslight you, seeking healing from them may not be a good idea.

How can one identify safe and supportive sources for healing?

As you seek healing, look for those who listen without judgment, validate your experiences, and offer empathy. Trust your gut feelings and prioritize safety. Remember, true healing comes from those who support and uplift you.

Is it necessary to completely cut off contact with an abuser in order to heal?

You don’t have to completely cut off contact with an abuser in order to heal, but it’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. Seeking support from trusted friends or professionals can also aid in the healing process.

What are some practical steps one can take to prioritize their own healing?

Imagine yourself as a tree that’s been damaged by a storm. To prioritize your own healing, you must first remove the dead branches and nurture the healthy ones. Seek support from sources that uplift and nourish you, rather than those who caused harm.

How can one maintain their empowerment throughout their healing journey, even in the face of setbacks or obstacles?

You can maintain your empowerment throughout your healing journey by acknowledging setbacks as opportunities for growth, setting realistic expectations, seeking support from positive influences, and practicing self-compassion and self-care.


So, my dear friend, it’s time to let go of the idea that your abuser can heal you. You cannot look for healing at the feet of those who broke you. It’s a harmful cycle that only perpetuates the pain and trauma you’ve experienced.

Instead, seek healing from safe and supportive sources. Set boundaries and prioritize your own healing journey. Empower yourself to take charge of your own well-being. Remember, healing is a process that takes time and effort, but it is worth it in the end.

As Maya Angelou once said, “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”You are not defined by what has happened to you. You have the power within you to rise above it and become stronger than ever before. Believe in yourself and trust that with time and effort, you will find the peace and healing that you deserve.

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