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It’s no secret that a mother-in-law can be a thorn in a marriage. But many people don’t know how much damage they can do. Researchers have found that when mothers-in-law are unhappy with their son’s wife, it can lead to marital problems. And unfortunately, these problems often don’t go away once the mother-in-law moves out of state or dies. They often get worse.
How Mother-in-Laws Ruin Marriages
They constantly meddle in the relationship
One of the most common complaints against mothers-in-law is that they constantly meddle in their son’s marriage. Whether offering unsolicited advice, criticizing their daughter-in-law’s parenting skills, or simply trying to stir up trouble, this interference can impact a couple’s relationship.
In some cases, it can even lead to divorce. While it’s understandable that a mother might want to protect her son and be involved in his life, it’s important to respect the boundaries of his marriage. After all, his wife is now his partner and should be treated as such. If a mother-in-law can’t respect this, she will likely cause serious problems in her son’s marriage.
They try to control their children’s lives
From the moment a couple gets married, the mother-in-law starts to become a problem. She tries to control her son’s life and dictates how the marriage should be. This ruins marriages because it puts a lot of stress on the couple. The mother-in-law doesn’t understand that her son is now a grown man and can make his own decisions. She also doesn’t respect the wife’s opinion and always tries to put her daughter-in-law down.
This causes a lot of arguments and eventually leads to the breakdown of the marriage. Mothers-in-law need to back off and let their sons live their own lives. If they can’t do that, they’ll ruin their son’s marriage and cause much pain for everyone involved.
They compare their child’s spouse to other people
A mother-in-law’s comparing her child’s spouse to other people is one way mothers-in-law ruin marriages. If she constantly points out flaws or things her son or daughter’s spouse does that drive her crazy, it creates tension and division instead of unity. The couple may resent each other and the mother-in-law for causing stress. Comparing a spouse to others only creates unnecessary drama and can ultimately lead to the demise of a marriage.
They are never satisfied with anything their child’s spouse does
It’s no surprise that mothers-in-law often cause tension in marriages. After all, they are the ones who raised their son or daughter and are used to having a certain level of control over them. As a result, they can quickly judge and criticize their child’s spouse, no matter what they do. This can create a feeling of insecurity and resentment in the marriage, as the spouse feels like they can never please their mother-in-law.
They constantly criticize their child’s spouse
One of the most common complaints that people have about their mother-in-law is that they are constantly critiquing their child’s spouse. This can be highly damaging to a marriage, creating friction and resentment between the two spouses.
In some cases, this criticism may even be why a marriage ends in divorce. If you are married to someone with a critical mother-in-law, it is essential to maintain a good relationship with her. This can be difficult, but it is worth it if your marriage becomes stronger.
They try to come between the couple
It’s a classic stereotype: the meddling mother-in-law always trying to come between her son and his wife. And while it may be a stereotype, there’s also a kernel of truth to it. In many cases, mothers-in-law can inadvertently cause problems in a marriage.
One common issue is that they may try to take on too much responsibility for their son’s happiness. They may feel that it’s their job to ensure he is well-cared for and happy, and as a result, they may interfere in the relationship.
Another potential problem is that they may disapprove of their daughter-in-law and try to sabotage the relationship. Sometimes, they may even try to turn their son against his wife. While mothers-in-law can be a blessing, they can also be a source of tension and conflict in a marriage. They can wreak havoc on even the strongest relationships if not managed properly.
They try to turn their children against their spouse
While it may seem far-fetched, some mothers-in-law go so far as to try to turn their children against their spouse. In many cases, this is done out of jealousy or resentment. The mother-in-law may feel like she is losing her grip on her son or daughter and will do anything to keep them close.
This can be a very destructive force in a marriage, as it can create a lot of mistrust and resentment. If you are married to someone whose mother is trying to come between you, it is important to stand your ground and assert yourself. The best thing you can do is try to build a good relationship with your mother-in-law, even if it is difficult.
They refuse to let go of the past
Many mothers-in-law have a hard time letting go of the past. They may still see their son or daughter as a child, even though they are now married and have their own life. As a result, they may refuse to accept that their son or daughter has changed and grown up.
This can be a problem in a marriage, as it can create tension and conflict. It is important to be understanding and patient if you are married to someone whose mother is having difficulty letting go of the past. In time, she may accept that her son or daughter has changed and that marriage is good.
They are always right
Some mothers-in-law think that they are always right. No matter what their child’s spouse does, they will find a way to criticize them and make them feel wrong. This can be a significant conflict in a marriage, as the spouse feels they can never please their mother-in-law.
If you are married to someone whose mother always has to be right, trying to find a way to get along with her is important. In some cases, it may be necessary to agree to disagree. However, in other cases, finding a compromise that both parties can live with may be possible.
They never give up hope that their child will divorce their spouse
Some mothers-in-law never give up hope that their child will divorce their spouse. They may not like their daughter-in-law or son-in-law and feel like the marriage is a mistake. As a result, they will do everything they can to sabotage the relationship.
This can be a very destructive force in a marriage, as it can create a lot of mistrust and resentment. If you are married to someone whose mother will never give up hope that they will divorce their spouse, it is important to try to build a good relationship with your mother-in-law, even if it is difficult.
How to Save Your Marriage from Your Mother-in-Law
Don’t take your mother-in-law’s bait.
After you get married, you might be surprised that your mother-in-law is not your biggest fan. If she constantly criticizes you or tries to undermine your relationship with your spouse, it can be challenging to know how to respond. The temptation may be to lash out and defend yourself, but this will only worsen the situation. Instead, it’s important to stay calm and avoid taking the bait.
By remaining calm and not getting drawn into arguments, you can diffuse the tension and show your mother-in-law that she cannot control you. This can be a tricky balancing act, but it’s important to remember that saving your marriage is more important than winning an argument with your mother-in-law.
Keep communication open with your spouse.
One of the most important things to remember in marriage is to keep communication open with your spouse. It can be easy to get caught up in everyday life and forget to talk about important things, but it’s essential to take the time to connect with your partner. This is especially important when it comes to your relationship with your in-laws. If you’re not on the same page, tension can easily build up and cause problems down the road.
By keeping communication open, you can avoid misunderstandings and ensure everyone is on the same page. This will go a long way towards saving your marriage from your mother-in-law.
Set boundaries with your mother-in-law.
Your mother-in-law may be lovely, but that doesn’t mean she cannot drive a wedge between you and your spouse. If you’re finding that your mother-in-law is causing tension in your marriage, it’s important to set boundaries. Boundaries will help you to keep your relationship with your spouse strong, and they will also help to prevent your mother-in-law from overstepping her bounds.
One boundary you should set is limiting the amount of time you spend with her. You might also want to create physical boundaries, such as not allowing her into your home without your spouse present. By setting boundaries, you can protect your marriage from interference from your mother-in-law.
Don’t make your spouse choose between you and their mother.
It can be tempting to pit your spouse against his or her mother, but this is a dangerous game. If you make your spouse choose between you and his or her mother, he or she will likely resent you for it. This can cause serious problems in your marriage, so it’s important to avoid this at all costs.
Instead, try to find a way to get along with your mother-in-law. This doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, but it does mean finding a way to coexist peacefully. If you can do this, saving your marriage from your mother-in-law will go a long way.
Seek help from a therapist or counselor if necessary.
If you’ve tried everything and you’re still struggling to deal with your mother-in-law, it might be time to seek help from a therapist or counselor. A professional can help you to work through the issues you’re having and find a way to move forward. This is a crucial step if you want to save your marriage from your mother-in-law.
Conclusion
If you’re struggling to deal with your mother-in-law, taking action is vital to save your marriage. Following these tips can protect your relationship and ensure that your mother-in-law doesn’t ruin your marriage.
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