Ghosting is when someone you’re dating disappears without a word and ceases all contact, disappearing from your life completely. You may not know what caused them to disappear or why they stopped talking to you; for all you know, the person could be dead. Whatever it is, if someone has ghosted you, it’s safe to say that you were hardly a priority in their life.
How Many Days is Ghosting?
Because of the lack of detail in these scenarios, it’s hard to define precisely how many days it takes before someone is ghosted. However, based on our observation and personal experiences (we’ve had friends who constantly get ghosted), we agree that ghosting usually happens within 2-3 weeks.
Ghosting is never fun and usually leaves one person wondering what they did wrong, but if you’re unlucky enough to have someone stop talking to you for no apparent reason at all, it’s best to move on. There are plenty of people out there who will appreciate everything about you just the way you are – don’t let the ones who don’t ruin your day.
How many days is ghosting if you were in the early stages of getting to know someone?
While it’s hard to define an exact “time frame” for ghosting, the answer lies in how long have you been talking with them. If you have just met someone online or are still getting to know them, being ghosted doesn’t mean they are out of your life forever.
How many days is ghosting if you were in an established relationship?
If you were in a relationship with someone for two months or longer, being ghosted is going to hurt twice as much. But how many days does it take before someone ghosts? The time frame usually lies within 2-3 weeks. In other words, if your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner has been gone for at least two weeks without any explanation, chances are they were ghosting you.
Types of Ghosting
There are three types of ghosting:
Soft ghosting is when someone suddenly stops communicating with you without an explanation. It’s not necessarily because they hate talking to you, but it could be due to lack of interest or time. After receiving no reply for a couple of days, it is reasonable to assume that they are not interested in you romantically anymore. Soft ghosting leaves the person being ghosted wondering why they stopped talking to them, if they did something wrong or if there was something wrong with them that wasn’t previously revealed when they were still “talking.”
Hard ghosting is when someone suddenly stops talking to you without warning and with no explanation whatsoever. It’s not because they lost interest in you or didn’t have time; it’s because they never wanted to talk to you in the first place. This type of ghosting is more traumatic than soft ghosting because you know for sure that they never cared about you, and it’s frustrating to think of all the time you spent getting to know them and building a relationship/friendship with no reciprocation.
Third-party ghosting is when someone completely disappears on you without any warning, but instead of doing it to you, they do it to the person they were talking with. When third-party ghosting happens, the person who cared about that other person ends up leaving them behind for someone else or no one at all. There’s hardly anything more hurtful than having someone you love leave you for someone else.
Some Tips to Deal with Being Ghosted
Don’t contact them
The best thing to do when you are ghosted is not to contact them at all. That includes texting/calling, stalking their social media accounts, or begging for an explanation. If they aren’t interested in talking to you anymore, they probably won’t give you one. You can still feel free to take the high road and try initiating a conversation – if they respond, it means there is still a chance. If they don’t reply or ignore you after you try talking to them, they probably don’t want anything to do with you anymore, and all you can do is respect their wishes.
Don’t burn any bridges
Another important thing to remember when being ghosted is that you don’t want to burn any bridges or damage your reputation. You never know when you may run into them again, and what they remember about you now may not be the same as how they’ll see you later on. Always leave a situation with grace and dignity – leaving a wrong impression will only worsen if the opportunity comes up to reconnect in the future.
Don’t take it personally
Even if you are being ghosted, never take it personally. The fact that they have disappeared without explaining means that there was no connection between the two of you, not that you did anything wrong or that there was anything wrong with you. No matter how much you open up to someone, they are not obligated to share their life with you. Even if both people feel a connection and want to get to know each other better, things can still “just not work out,” and it’s important not to let this affect your self-esteem or confidence.
Don’t automatically assume the worst
It is important to remember that you don’t know the full story when someone suddenly stops talking to you. It might be easy to assume the worst and go with what’s in your head, but it doesn’t help and only makes matters worse. Think about why they might have stopped talking to you – were they too busy? Did something happen? Just because they are not talking to you doesn’t mean they are dead or unfaithful.
Don’t fight it
When someone is ghosting, the last thing you should do is figure out what went wrong. The important thing here isn’t so much about “figuring” why your partner ghosted you but rather about learning how to accept it. As mentioned before, they are not obligated to tell you why they left or explain their actions, nor would that help if they did. All you can do is accept their decision and move on with your life – there’s no sense in wasting more time thinking about them when you could be doing something else.
Remember that it’s not you
The most important thing to remember is that the person ghosting isn’t doing it because of something you did. They had their reasons for deciding that things weren’t working between them, and you had nothing to do with that. Even if they appear to be acting irrationally or avoiding certain topics before they disappear, or they may have been a bit indecisive before ghosting you, it is not your fault. Sometimes people need to take time apart from each other to figure things out, and sometimes, that means the end of a relationship. The important thing is to learn how to move on from there and, if possible, find someone willing to be open and honest with you.
The cold, hard truth is that many people in our society have no problem ghosting the people they casually see. It’s important to remember that this is their choice, and you don’t have any control over it. The best thing you can do is pick yourself up, dust off your ego, and move on.